London Trip (Insert Witty Title Here)

Hello, toasters!
So, as some of you who read the last post know, I've just got back from a London uni trip.
I'm so tempted to call it a school trip, but that definitely brings pigtails and pleated skirts to mind, so i'll avoid it.
This is going to be a pretty picture-heavy post, because I have so many awesome photos... mainly from Harry Potter World!
We did so many things- saw Swan Lake, The Commitments, different theatre spaces, tours of opera houses and I even saw Matilda (so cute!) but Harry Potter World beat everything else hands down.
It was basically an explosion of nostalgic childhood memories infused with butterbeer and hyperactivity due to having eaten nothing but a discounted chocolate Santa that morning.
I know, I am an advert for a healthy lifestyle.
So here are a few of my favourite photos, enjoy!

I love the old lady's face in the last one... like she's never seen a bunch of art students (prats) take a self-timer photo before.

We did the classic thing where we all crouched in, although we would have fit fine anyway.

Oh well!

See you next time,

Sammie

xoxo

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London Calling

Hello toasters!
This morning I'm heading into to London for a uni trip- where else would we be able to listen to Opera and spend hundreds of pounds on fabric in the same day?!

It's too late to be drawing a new illustration for this post, so I thought
I'd use this 'illustration selfie' I did a few weeks ago :)

Having to get up at 7am tomorrow will be difficult, made even harder by the fact that I have to leave my bonsai trees behind for a whole week.
Seriously, I never thought I could ever be so connected to a plant... maybe it's just a coping mechanism when I get depressed about:

a. My student loan          

b. My 'future'                 

c. Miley Cyrus' existence   

or 

d. All of the above.         

We're visiting Harry Potter world tomorrow, which I am definitely far too excited about.
I had intended to sew myself a Ravenclaw robe to wear- you know, to actually get my £9,000 tuition fee's worth- but it ended up in the bottom of my wardrobe, where all my other half-finished projects go to die.
I need to try and find the self-restraint to not buy a wand, or else you may find me sobbing in a gutter, waving it and whispering 'accio, money'.
(Muggles, beware of HP terminology)

Looking at my overflowing suitcase, I fear I may have done my usual trick- packing everything but the things I actually need.
One year I went to Spain, forgot my swimwear and had to spend my time in ill-fitting, hastily-purchased bikinis that made a synthetic fart sound every time I moved.
(Sorry, that's probably an overshare, but it's the best example I've got)
The worst thing is, I usually remember what I've forgotten just as I reach my destination, so I'll keep you posted as to what vital thing I've left behind this time.
Spoiler alert: It's usually socks.

I hope you all have a fantastic Monday morning, and get to have the lie in that I wont be able to have.
I'm still debating whether or not to bring my laptop along, so if you don't hear from me for a week, you'll know why.
Watch this space
Sammie
xoxo


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How I got someone to put up with me (love me, even) for a year

Hello, toasters!
So, on the 18th, me and Dan will have been together for a year!

This is my first time drawing Dan, I have yet to work on it.... so don't judge me!

Aside from the fact that he's always hungry (seriously, how can guys eat so much?!), he's practically perfect.
Disclaimer: When I say that, I mean that he's 'practically perfect' for me. I'm aware that not everybody likes their men with long hair, band shirts and a willingness to watch children's cartoons with you at 5am. But that pretty much ticks all the boxes for me.
If you have read this blog before, or have had the unfortunate luck of meeting me in person, you'll know I'm not quite perfect.
I'm clumsy, too loud, childish, and I'm sometimes a little bit thick. (I bought fireworks from Lidl for fireworks night this year. Surprise, surprise, they didn't work, and nearly killed us all to boot. On the plus side though, it was fun)
I also have started to snort when I laugh.
Which is never attractive. Ever.
So, I hear you cry, how did you manage to get someone to put up with you for a whole year?
Well, I think I've distilled my main method into a few key points...

Find that one little thing that they hate and inflict it upon them a few times a week
You know, just so that they appreciate it when you're taking the time and effort not to be a prat.
For Dan, it's Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader that he hates.
Luckily for him, I love this song, so it's really quite easy for me to hum it around the house, when we're out shopping, or even as he's drifting off to sleep.
Sometimes, when he's tossing and turning in his sleep, an evil part of my brain likes to think that it's that song that's disturbing him so much.

Try new experiences together
For example...

FYI, the 50 Shades of Grey wasn't a joint venture... what he does in his free time is up to him I guess
*cough* FREAK *cough*

Try and get into each others' interests
I actually wrote a post about our Compromises between a Theatre-Lover and Metalhead, and in about a month's time I'll be holding up my end of the deal and going to a metal gig.
If I die in a moshpit, tell my family I love them. And make sure Gina doesn't get all my stuff.
But seriously, dragging a reluctant Dan into the world of 16 & Pregnant and other crappy TV has done wonders for our relationship.
Aside from reminding us how lucky we are, it also acts as a great source of entertainment, as the teen mums invariably give their kids terrible names.
There have been several kids named Bentley now, and I swear one of them got the nickname 'Benterz'.
Stay classy, kids.

Get them to do stuff for you by classing it as 'teamwork'
Don't like the yellow Jelly Tots? Feed them to an unsuspecting sleeping boyfriend.
Need your washing up done? As long as you hug him and sing Toploader whilst he's doing it, it's all good.
I know it's exploitation, but it does mean that I have less things to stress about, meaning I have more time to be a super-awesome Girlfriend, making him sandwiches and shit.
Also, I do the drying up, so I guess that's something?!

So there you have it- an insider's guide to making a long-term relationship work.
To be honest, I'm pretty sure that most of this stuff only works because we're nutters, but hey ho!
What would you recommend for keeping the love alive?
Let me know in the comments :)
See you soon
Sammie
xoxo

P.S.
I've recently realised that if this page doesn't load properly, all the text becomes Comic Sans.
I dont know whether to laugh or cry...

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Drunk Thoughts 2

Hello, toasters!
So yes, due to the events of this evening, I find myself intoxicated yet again.
By 'events', I mean the casual suggestion of an after-dinner drink at home, which was followed by 5 hours of hardcore cocktail drinking.
And by 'hardcore cocktail', I mean the Apple Sourz mixer that tastes SO BAD that I got for Christmas, and I figured that I may as well drink it whilst drunk, so that I wouldn't be able to register how bad it tastes.

Sorry, no illustration today- I'm definitely not in a fit state to even attempt picking up a pen.
However, I hope you enjoy this photograph, which I took whilst on holiday...
and it kind of links to my alcohol theme... right?!

So here is a list of embarrassing things that I have done this evening, that I definitely would not have done if it weren't for the alcohol coursing through my veins:

• I may have tried to fit six full-sized Oreo cookies into my mouth at the same time.
• I may have made a friend of mine who has recently come out as being a lesbian touch my boobs to fell how bouncy they are.
• I may have set my housemate's wallpaper photo as a graphic image of gay porn.

So really, for me, that isn't too bad at all!

Now I don't want you guys to think that I'm a raving alcoholic- whilst I may enjoy a drink or two, I rarely go out, instead preferring the comfort of Netflix and a duvet.

But I thought, as I am slightly inebriated, I may as well make another 'drunk reflections on life' post, which I can cringe at tomorrow when I wake up.

Here goes nothing...

Why is it so difficult to use an umbrella?

I'm talking about when it's properly raining, with hurricane-esque winds to match... no-one ever prepares you for the difficulty of this task, for how many umbrellas you will disfigure on your travels.

And another thing that makes umbrella use impossible for the overly-polite Brit is umbrella etiquette.

If I am walking towards someone who is also using an umbrella on a slim pavement, what is the accepted procedure? 

We end up doing the trying-to-dodge-each-other pavement dance, which is made infinitely worse by the fact that the umbrellas get tangled up with each other.

Unwritten British law states that you cannot interact with a stranger in public for more than 15 seconds without having to get engaged, married, and raise at least two children named after biblical characters.

On Christmas, why do loads of random relatives that I've never heard of suddenly appear? 

Surely it's cheaper to make contact when it's not the holiday season, so we don't feel pressured into buying each other bath salts that we wrap in cellophane to disguise the fact that zero effort went into the gift.

Long lost Auntie makes contact in July? 

Cool, we should go to the beach together sometime.

Long lost Auntie makes contact in late November?

Better buy her some chocolates and hope she isn't lactose intolerant.

'Dogs are basically cats with an attention-seeking complex.' -Sammie

As a cat lover, and academic, I can say that the above statement is completely true. 

Dogs need walks, whereas cats take the initiative and entertain themselves for the day, like functioning members of society.

Dogs, however, need haircuts, walks and specialist toys, which mostly get buried in your new flowerbed of roses.

If a child did that as a token of thanks for free lodging in your home, you'd put them in care.

Don't even pretend you wouldn't. 

So, dear toasters, (and all of those people that have stumbled across my website and wonder why I am referring to you as a kitchen appliance) I will leave you with this old photograph I have just this minute found on my hard drive.

Katniss Everdeen, eat your heart out.

Disclaimer: If my sister Gina gets chosen in the reaping, I will not volunteer
as tribute. She's a little git.

Sammie

xoxo

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The Last Supper (before I'm back to malnourishment at my student house)

Hello, toasters!

Today I am writing to you from my brand new laptop- a white HP Pavilion laptop that is cooler than the arctic itself. 

However, to get said laptop, I had to go to PC World. For four hours!

Before this, I had just made a 2 hour journey, which put me through the terrifying ordeal of having someone nearly sit next to me on public transport.

Oh, the horror!

So, aside from almost committing mass genocide in PC World, I think my sanity has just about clung on & is still with me. 

I think...

I'm intending to do an illustration for each post, so hopefully i'll improve bit by bit :)

Tomorrow morning, I will be travelling back down to Bournemouth, as I start Uni again on Monday.

I resent this fact for two main reasons: 

1.  I have to be up at 8am, which is a greatly unreasonable hour for a nocturnal person such as myself.
2.  Whilst I can cook, I can't afford the quality of food that my mum can here at home.

I will be going from grand roast dinners with all the trimmings to a sandwich from the Co-Op, which may or may not contain real chicken and arguably smells like a pensioner.

Mmmm, I love the smell of pensioner in the morning.

However, there are several things I am looking forward to...

1.  Seeing all my housemates and friends again, cracking inappropriate 'Your Mum' jokes 24/7 and generally being goofy.
2.  Being a 30 second walk away from Iceland, which has a good offer on for Pringles.
3.  Starting classes again

Whilst I love lying in all day and mooching about the house, I really can't wait to dig my teeth into another project. There's something about having a new project that revives my passion and creativity for the arts.

Also, procrastinating is always more fun when you actually have something to avoid.

So now I have the task of packing everything up, which has become a proper challenge as Mum has turned half of my room into a Chinese Laundry.
Last night I couldn't get to sleep for ages, so instead of counting sheep, I counted how many ugly shirts there were hanging up that would benefit from a bout of spontaneous combustion.
So, the next time I post I'll be back in Bournemouth!
Are you looking forward to going back? Let me know in the comments :)
Don't forget to subscribe you cheeky monkeys
(Sorry, I've been spending too much time watching children's TV... because I have younger siblings.... not because I actually enjoy it...don't judge me)
Sammie
xoxo


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