Some important life lessons I've learned along the way

Hello, toasters!
For those of you who have previously read this blog, you may find it pretty rich that I, of all people, am handing out advice on this untested, eventually-fatal rollercoaster we call 'life'.
But, I'd like to believe that I've learnt a few things whilst making my many, many mistakes, and I wish to share my wisdom with all you lovely people.
Disclaimer: I use the term 'wisdom' very loosely.

First off, you know what they say about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer? Screw that!
Surrounding yourself with people you don't like and/or trust is never going to work well.
What if you become their bridesmaid and they ask you to help them pee in their huge wedding dress?
You get the initial 'eww' with the added bonus of resenting the person because you don't even like them, you just kept them close because some cliche drama told you to.
Good job.

Secondly, don't hoard money like there's no tomorrow. 
If you're saving up for something, then that's great, but I'm talking about the people who constantly save for a 'rainy day' then never use it.
What if today is your metaphorical 'rainy day' and spending £20 on a night out with the girls will cheer you up immensely?
I admit I am really quite broke right now, but I put that down to paying for a school trip in January that I didn't expect to be as expensive as it was. So yes, I am being a teensy bit hypocritical on this one....
But if you want to do something, and your funds allow it, then go for it!
Life is to be lived, not to be indefinitely shut away watching Netflix (although that is a substantial part of it).
Whilst saying yes to everything will probably get you an STI, saying no to absolutely everything will just make you miserable. Whilst you shouldn't go to either extreme, try to find a balance that doesn't result in misery or herpes.

Next up, try to enjoy each type of weather the different seasons bring.
I don't mean every single day, because sometimes the weather can be a complete pain, but every so often just stop to appreciate the power of the wind, or the beautiful stormy clouds before they go.
One of my best experiences in New York was walking around Times Square in the rain. I'd given my coat to my Grandma who had lost hers (of course) and I realised I'd forgotten how fun it was to embrace the rain and let it fall on your skin rather than cover up and run from it.
What I'm trying to say is that learning to appreciate the little things that happen every single day will make things in general seem a lot brighter, and you'll start to notice loads more things that you didn't even know you appreciated.
Personally. I've realised that I really appreciate drivers who actually indicate. Go figure.

Finally, find something or someone that makes you overwhelmingly happy.
It could be an old jumper that smells like home, or Tom Hiddleston's ass. Whatever floats your boat.
Just find something and indulge in it, at least once a week to make you feel great again.
For me, it's my talking Pokemon plushie Snivy. I don't know why, but putting a voicebox into a toy kind of makes it an adorable pet.
It was a toss up between Snivy and my boyfriend, but Dan, you aren't a Pokemon with ridiculously tiny legs so I'm afraid you lost out.
I'll leave you with a photo of Snivy just so you can see how cute she is :3
What life lessons have you got to share? Let me know in the comments & don't forget to subscribe :)

Sammie
xoxo

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How I got someone to put up with me (love me, even) for a year
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Top 10 free and completely awesome Valentine's gifts

Hello, toasters!

It's officially 1 week to go until Valentine's Day!

Now is the time for frantic phone calls, desperately trying to get a table in that Italian place you didn't know was there until you Googled it this morning.

Nowadays it seems like we don't just have to shell out money for a card, posh dinner, and  itchy polyester underwear that came straight from a porno, but we also have to buy gifts for each other too.

This is an issue, as I literally have no money. 

And what little money I do have is instantly zapped by the University via payments for school trips, art supplies and disappointing Hoi Sin wraps.

Therefore, I need to think of some cool budget-friendly stuff that I can do.

Here are my Top 10 free and completely awesome Valentine' gifts

1.  Cook a meal at home. And by 'cook', I do not mean Dominos or microwavable stuff. Keep it classy. However, if you go to Waitrose and find they have something you could believably pass off as your own, go for it... just get rid of the packaging first!

Oh, the struggles of being a modern woman.

2. Send him (or her, I don't judge) a romantic, heartfelt note.

For those of us that don't have time for that crap, I've made a template you may all use...

Dear (insert name here),

Although we have only been together for a week/ a few months/ too long why are you still here, I know my feelings for you are true. 

You make me feel like no-one else can; when I am with you I feel happy/ on top of the world/ constipated.

I remember our first date when you took me to (insert name of crappy 'restaurant' he took you to, which really should have been an early warning sign) and we talked about whatever sport he inevitably talked about all night long.

And when I introduced me to my friends, I knew you were the one because of the way you smiled/ looked at me/ embarrassed me so much I have had to find new friends.

I hope I get to spend my life/ your overdraft with you, thank you for everything/ nothing.

Lots of love/ utter contempt, 

(insert your name or sexist pet name they use for you)

xxx

3. Play a board game together and let them win. Nothing says love like letting a fool win at Monopoly even though their tactics are terrible, and they should know by now that you can never win by relying on a hotel on Old Kent Road.

4. Root through your cupboards and fridge to find something unopened. When they unwrap it and look at you questioningly, get all excited and squeal 'I know that Heinz Baked Beans are your favourite!'

Makes you look thoughtful and concerned that they're getting a nutritional diet.

Boom, you're a keeper.

5. Create a coupon book. Whilst this can genuinely be a really good gift, I'd definitely include things like 'I will give you the remote', and 'I will admit I'm wrong and let you win this argument'.

Just be sure to add short expiry dates in tiny, faint writing just to add a hint of evil.

6. Agree to watch their favourite film, and not comment too often about how Keanu Reeves is exactly the same character in every movie he's in. Sometimes I think he wasn't intentionally an actor, he just accidentally walked onto a set one day and he didn't have the heart to tell them he wasn't 'The Chosen One'.

7. Give them a back massage. And for those of you who don't know how, it's just like trying to rub an inevitable morning toothpaste mark out of your shirt in the morning. Just do that on their shoulder blades with slowly-increasing pressure until it gets so painful they ask you to stop. The plus side to this one is that you will never be asked to give another massage again- aww yiss!

8. Cut out hundreds of heart shapes from plain paper and scatter them around their room. On the hearts, write things that you love about them, or your favourite memories together. However, vent your anger and give them a piece of your mind on a few, just to shake things up a bit.

Note- this one works better for long-term relationships... it'll probably come across as a bit creepy if you've only known them a few weeks and have broken into their room just to litter it with cut out bits of paper.

9. Quote their favourite memes or lyrics throughout the day. Bonus points for inappropriate timings, especially if the lyrics you are quoting are by Sean Paul.

10. Try your absolute hardest not to be an asshole to them for a whole day.

So, there we go, my 10 gift ideas, that really prove how little is free in today's world. 

Disclaimer: Unless your partner is very understanding, the majority of these ideas will probably get you dumped. I will not accept liability for people with broken shoulders because your massage didn't work out.

What are you doing for Valentine's Day? Let me know in the comments :)

Sammie

xoxo

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How I got someone to put up with me (love me, even) for a year

Hello, toasters!
So, on the 18th, me and Dan will have been together for a year!

This is my first time drawing Dan, I have yet to work on it.... so don't judge me!

Aside from the fact that he's always hungry (seriously, how can guys eat so much?!), he's practically perfect.
Disclaimer: When I say that, I mean that he's 'practically perfect' for me. I'm aware that not everybody likes their men with long hair, band shirts and a willingness to watch children's cartoons with you at 5am. But that pretty much ticks all the boxes for me.
If you have read this blog before, or have had the unfortunate luck of meeting me in person, you'll know I'm not quite perfect.
I'm clumsy, too loud, childish, and I'm sometimes a little bit thick. (I bought fireworks from Lidl for fireworks night this year. Surprise, surprise, they didn't work, and nearly killed us all to boot. On the plus side though, it was fun)
I also have started to snort when I laugh.
Which is never attractive. Ever.
So, I hear you cry, how did you manage to get someone to put up with you for a whole year?
Well, I think I've distilled my main method into a few key points...

Find that one little thing that they hate and inflict it upon them a few times a week
You know, just so that they appreciate it when you're taking the time and effort not to be a prat.
For Dan, it's Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader that he hates.
Luckily for him, I love this song, so it's really quite easy for me to hum it around the house, when we're out shopping, or even as he's drifting off to sleep.
Sometimes, when he's tossing and turning in his sleep, an evil part of my brain likes to think that it's that song that's disturbing him so much.

Try new experiences together
For example...

FYI, the 50 Shades of Grey wasn't a joint venture... what he does in his free time is up to him I guess
*cough* FREAK *cough*

Try and get into each others' interests
I actually wrote a post about our Compromises between a Theatre-Lover and Metalhead, and in about a month's time I'll be holding up my end of the deal and going to a metal gig.
If I die in a moshpit, tell my family I love them. And make sure Gina doesn't get all my stuff.
But seriously, dragging a reluctant Dan into the world of 16 & Pregnant and other crappy TV has done wonders for our relationship.
Aside from reminding us how lucky we are, it also acts as a great source of entertainment, as the teen mums invariably give their kids terrible names.
There have been several kids named Bentley now, and I swear one of them got the nickname 'Benterz'.
Stay classy, kids.

Get them to do stuff for you by classing it as 'teamwork'
Don't like the yellow Jelly Tots? Feed them to an unsuspecting sleeping boyfriend.
Need your washing up done? As long as you hug him and sing Toploader whilst he's doing it, it's all good.
I know it's exploitation, but it does mean that I have less things to stress about, meaning I have more time to be a super-awesome Girlfriend, making him sandwiches and shit.
Also, I do the drying up, so I guess that's something?!

So there you have it- an insider's guide to making a long-term relationship work.
To be honest, I'm pretty sure that most of this stuff only works because we're nutters, but hey ho!
What would you recommend for keeping the love alive?
Let me know in the comments :)
See you soon
Sammie
xoxo

P.S.
I've recently realised that if this page doesn't load properly, all the text becomes Comic Sans.
I dont know whether to laugh or cry...

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Money-Saving Challenge of the week: Not to spend ANYTHING

Hello, toasters!
So in one of my last posts I set myself the challenge of spending absolutely nothing for a whole week.
I survived, so I thought I'd share with you my findings from the past week...

Monday
This was when I decided to challenge myself to not spend anything. My bank had just texted me to let me know how poor I was, so I decided to try and be a super-scrimper on a 1-week trial basis.
I feel that maybe a reason that I was broke was because I'd become slightly addicted to Dominos pizzas, and at £10 a pop, its not the best thing to be having more than once a week.
I took my own lunch into uni (the healthy combination of golden niuggets cereal, a can of coke and an apple) which helped to keep the cost down, but I couldn't help but look longingly at the great-smelling hot food sold in the canteen.
Amount Spent:  Nothing
Mood: Determined to get out of my overdraft
Top tip of the day: When in doubt, take a box of kiddies cereal for lunch

Tuesday
Today was a bit easier, as I had 'independent study'... i.e. the teacher couldn't think of anything to do.
So as I didn't have to go into uni, I didn't have to worry about being tempted by the hot food on offer.
I had tortellini for lunch, and chicken & oven chips for dinner- just using up things from my freezer drawer.
If anyone else is a tortellini fan, I'd say avoid the Asda herb tortellini like the plague.
It has such a gritty texture, I felt like I'd swallowed a beach.
Actually, whilst were on the subject of tortellini, is anyone else currently angry with Sainsburys?
The bastards discontinued the four cheese tortellini I practically lived off last year.
Sorry, that was a bit off-topic, but its an important matter to me!
Amount Spent: Nothing
Mood: Chuffed that I had a four hour lie- in!
Top tip of the day: Avoid Asda where possible in the pasta department

Wednesday
Today was a truly great day for me... I saw Bill Bailey!
And as cool as he was (I was in the fifth row!) the arrival of my mum meant one glorious thing- FREE FOOD!
Usually, we just go to the Harvester, but I found out about this classy Chinese restaurant in town that I wanted to try.
It was incredible, and the best thing was is that it was all-you-can-eat, so we could try everything. Twice.
Having been given strict instructions from my housemates, I had sneakily bought 3 Tupperware containers with me in my bag, and so me & my mum made it our mission to not go home empty handed.
Honestly, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard as when mum came back to the table, proudly carrying a huge plate heaped with about 200 gummy milk bottles.
We managed to squish everything into the boxes, and we headed home with one box of sweets, and two rammed with lemon chicken.
Amount Spent: Nothing
Mood: It's Bill Bailey, from Have I Got-Never Mind The-Black Books-QI-for you!
Top tip of the day: Take plastic containers and be ninja-thieves when you visit an all-you-can-eat buffet

Thursday
Okay, so it turns out reheated lemon chicken isn't great, so I've basically just been left with enough sweets to put anyone into a coma.
I didn't have uni today (I have so many days off! I mean, I love my course, but it feels silly paying £8600 a year when I only have 3 days in!!) so again, I wasn't tempted by the hot food on offer there.
Basic pasta for lunch, and a bit of everything from my freezer drawer for dinner- it was one of those nights where I though 'Hey, this mini pizza will go great with roast parsnips and a naan bread!'
I don't know how I got into that very dark place, but I am older & wiser now.
Amount Spent: Nothing
Mood: WHYYYY
Top tip of the day: If you're mixing food types like this, you should probably take a day off. Or a week off, depending on how bad your sugar coma is from all those sweets.

Friday
Today I had a full day at uni!
I know, right?! A full day!!! It's like what I'm paying for is actually reasonable!
But having spent an entire day in the computer room, when it came to lunch time, I just couldn't bring myself to dig into the cereal I had bought with me.
I'm afraid I did a terrible thing- I bought a jacket potato
*gasps*
I couldn't help it! It was more tempting than a photo opportunity is to a politician!
But, it was the best jacket potato of my life.
Any and all inner turmoil I had going on about losing my challenge disappeared the moment I took the first bite. It was so soft, and exactly what I needed.
Amount Spent- £3.00
Mood: Bite me.
Top tip of the day: Maybe treating yourself once in a while is a good thing. But if you really cant spend anything, getting up 10 minutes earlier to make something more tempting than dry cereal is a good idea.

Saturday
So I was definitely feeling guilty about my jacket potato, and found myself obsessing over whether I'm just a really weak person or not.
I came to the conclusion that in most things, I'm pretty strong.
But when it comes to food, sleep, exercise, or anything to do with owls, I'm weaker than the watered-down alcohol you get at weddings.
So to cheer myself up, for lunch I decided to make myself onion bruschetta! (Think really posh cheese on toast)
It was amazing, and the recipe is as follows:

1.      Chop 2 onions, place in a frying pan and put on the hob on a low heat.
2.      Add 2 tablespoons of oil, 1 of balsamic vinegar, and at least 4 spoons of sugar.
3.      If you have some red wine laying around, add that too.
4.      Simmer for about 40-60 minutes on  the low heat until the onion marmalade becomes sticky & soft and the liquid is soaked up.
5.      Cut crusty bread into inch-thick slices, drizzle on a little oil and sprinkle on some chopped garlic (1 clove does 4 slices)
6.      Spread the onion marmalade onto the bread evenly, and top with slices of cheese (cheddar or goats cheese works well)
7.      Put the oven onto the grill setting (or just a really high temperature) and pop the slices in.
8.      Grill for about 6 minutes, until the cheese starts to bubble.
9.      Serve immediately and enjoy the best lunch EVER :D

Amount Spent: Nothing

Mood: Aww yiss!

Top tip of the day: Definitely brush your teeth after eating these- they taste amazing but gives you garlic breath.

Sunday

I spent most of Sunday with Dan, which was really nice. We watched a load of Firefly (best TV series EVER) and just had a pretty chilled day.
When it came to dinner, we really didn't fancy anything he had in his cupboard (no surprise there, he's a typical guy when it comes to food) so we went to Wetherspoons and he paid which was really sweet!
Usually I insist on going Dutch for meals out etc. but as this was my week of scrooge-ness, he treated me.
Amount Spent: Nothing
Mood: Very happy
Top tip of the day: If possible, have a nice boyfriend who doesn't mind treating you once in a while.

Result:
So throughout the  whole week, I only spent £3.00, which I think is pretty good going!
I wouldn't say that I've learnt anything in particular, but I know that my bank balance is looking pleased.
If this were one of those school science experiments that you had to prepare and write up, it would look like this:

· Question: Can Sammie go a week without spending anything?
· Hypothesis: Probably not.
· Observations: I did pretty well, but its fair to say I relied on my friends and family quite a bit.
· Conclusion: I can do it, it just requires more will power than I currently possess...

Have any of you challenged yourselves to do something like this? If so, how did it go?
Let me know :)
Sammie
xoxo

 

Compromises... from theatre lover to metalhead?!

Hello, toasters!
I have returned after a few weeks' hiatus- to those of you who read my last post about how I was planning on not spending any money for a whole week, do not worry! I did not starve!
I actually got on pretty well, and will post up my findings tomorrow evening.
For some reason, I had the blog post completely written up and edited, but I really just felt like some time off.
I spent the time settling in again to university, cooking some awesome food (and then cancelling it out by eating cheap drunk food) and most recently, going to the theatre with my boyfriend.
The play in question was called 'Female Transport', and was put on by the graduate acting students at my university.
I was excited to go because 1. the set and costume designs were done by members of my course, and is exactly what I want to do, and 2. it gave me an opportunity to show give my boyfriend Dan a little insight into my world & what I'm into.
Alas, I hear you cry! Why, oh why, after 10 months of dating, does he still know nothing about the world of theatre if he is dating a costume student?
My short answer to this is that he is a metalhead.
My slightly longer answer is that he is a metalhead who studies forensic science and plays ultimate frisbee in his spare time, and if that's not the furthest group of interests away from theatre, I don't know what is.

Me & Dan on a night out in Woking. This photo is my desktop wallpaper and the guy on the right
in perfect focus really annoys me because I have no idea who he is, and I literally see him every day.

I honestly don't know how we found each other, and I really cant comprehend how it works, but somehow it does.
Like mango chutney and stilton cheese, it just works.
But lately we've decided to try to get to know each other's interests a little more.
You know, to delve a little deeper than him putting up with my distinctly Sandra Bullock/ Rene Zellweger/ Ryan Reynolds-flavoured film-taste and more than me listing to Guns N Roses occasionally.
So, he came with me to see Female Transport, and we've booked a Trivium gig in London for February.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Trivium and metal music as a whole, its contains shouting which sometimes transcends into guttural roars, drums being beaten to within an inch of their life (think Rihanna) and lots of black leather and tattoos. One good thing about the genre though, is that the guitar parts are really quite good a lot of the time.
However, I am seriously scared that I will be punched in a mosh pit, and die. Or just be brutally injured, and have to spend the rest of my days on a life support machine. I don't know why I thought agreeing to this was a good idea... it may have been the Dominos pizza Dan bought me as he suggested it...damn Dominos pizza and its' persuasive aroma!
Anyway, back to Female Transport.
The set itself was incredible, with different levels and small spaces for the actors to hide in, which really emphasised the cramped life the female prisoners must have had as they made the journey to Australia- definitely very inspiring and made me want to design something like this even more before I graduate!
The whole thing was made infinitely better by sitting next to some of my lovely course chums (shout out to Brooke!) who definitely helped to take the mick out of Dan and his typical bloke-ish ways. Mwahaha!

Sidenote- why on earth do some guys think that its okay to use shower gel in place of shampoo?! Okay, if you have a buzzcut, it doesn't really make a difference... but where did boys get this false information from?!?

I was concerned that Dan wouldn't enjoy something like this play- it was hard-hitting and got really into each character's individual stories... a far cry from the local Pantomime most of us have as a light-hearted introduction to theatre as kids.
But he seemed to really love it, and I could honestly not be more thrilled.
So, my moral for this post is to just leap into something, like Dan did for me. You never know what you might find, and you should always try something once, right?!
...Except things like cocaine, and getting into the mafia. Stuff like that should definitely be avoided.
(I'm looking at you, people who say YOLO as an excuse for making bad life choices!)
Now I just have to take my own advice, don some heavy eye make-up and charge headfirst into that Trivium gig just like Miley Cyrus slammed into that wall of negative press.
Actually, bad example. I do not wish to be associated with foam fingers in that way.
See you tomorrow!
Sammie
xoxo

Girlfriend/ Boyfriend Questions Tag Video

Hello, toasters!
So before I left for New York, Dan and I made a tag video!
It's been something I've wanted to do with him for a while now, and it was a lot of fun messing about and making this video.
I've literally had to cut out a solid 20 minutes of giggling and complaining about his awful handwriting, but here is the finished product....
Enjoy!

Don't forget to like and subscribe, and maybe let me know how you'd answer any of the questions?
Sammie
xoxo