tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19783499147572905312024-03-12T19:54:26.155-07:00Sammie On ToastAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-91167095967268820902014-06-17T05:22:00.002-07:002014-06-17T05:22:38.083-07:00Summer Commences...Hello, toasters!<br />
I know, I know, it's been a while.<br />
But I'm sure, with time and counselling, you'll be able to forgive me for my lack of recent posts.<br />
The last term of uni has been really intense, with two hand-ins only a week
apart. I basically feel like I’ve been pulled apart, limb by limb, by screaming
children who all want to run off in different directions. But, like Supernanny,
I managed to put them all on the naughty step and pull together two submissions
that I’m actually really proud of.<br />
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(Sammie 1- Metaphorical screaming children 0)<br />
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I've just come back from holiday in Lemnos, Greece. Before I left, I couldn't remember the exact name of the island, so when anyone asked me where I was headed I mumbled something made up and Greek-sounding like 'Kevlaka' or 'Steffikos'. A surprising number of people responded with 'ooh, I think I've been there!' so it quickly became my new favourite hobby.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hNK3q-9ffPw/U6At0O2wMTI/AAAAAAAAAqU/mJbtT25bONk/s1600/DSCN0810.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hNK3q-9ffPw/U6At0O2wMTI/AAAAAAAAAqU/mJbtT25bONk/s1600/DSCN0810.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Myrina, Lemnos</td></tr>
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Lemnos was beautiful, and I had a great time sailing (or at least attempting to) and meeting some really interesting people. I know it sounds soppy, but my favourite moment was watching the thunderstorm whilst curled up in my hammock with my sketchbook. I don't think I could get any more 'arty' if i tried.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--_a29pD-Ob0/U6Ah4ylHUTI/AAAAAAAAApY/7bZabnjFeFY/s1600/IMGP9624.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--_a29pD-Ob0/U6Ah4ylHUTI/AAAAAAAAApY/7bZabnjFeFY/s1600/IMGP9624.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nicki Minaj hair time</td></tr>
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The only downside with going on holiday is that my hair has gone from bright red to a faded pink/ coral colour. I can fix it back up no problem, but what's annoying is the fact that my family really likes it this way and are trying to get me to keep it this colour. I even got offered a bribe by my stepmum yesterday!!</div>
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Whilst this could be a nifty way to extort money and/or cake from my family, I miss the red so much and can't wait to go back to my usual, vibrant self.</div>
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So, to truly signal the start of summer, I thought I had better throw a party. And what better occasion than my 20th birthday? </div>
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They'll be plenty of mojitos and cake pops, and plenty of cups of tea as it's a 'best of British' tea party. Currently, my biggest issue is how to dress up as the Queen without, well... looking like the Queen I guess. Although her unimpressed-who-the-hell-is-Will.i.am face completely stole the show at the Jubilee.</div>
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I don't have too many plans for summer yet, but I'm sure it will involve lots of trips to the pub, taking in lots of exhibitions in London and weeping over a paintbrush, trying to be as good as the artists in the aforementioned exhibitions.<br />
I'm currently in limbo, waiting for the uni to let us know whose set design has been chosen for the Autumn AUB production 'The Rights of Man'. If my design gets
chosen, it will actually be built and put on in November! So fingers crossed!
(and toes! And eyes! And anything else that can be crossed!)<br />
We went for a very abstract approach with everything taking on a hand-drawn quality. Here are a few pictures of my 1:25 scale set model so you can see what
I’ve been working on…<br />
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<o:p> What are your plans for summer? Let me know in the comments :) </o:p></div>
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Watch this space</div>
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Sammie</div>
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xoxo</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-25556870656165753272014-04-10T15:10:00.001-07:002014-04-10T15:10:57.543-07:00Red hair & Rigoletto designs <div class="MsoNormal">
Hello, toasters!<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s been a while, but I’m afraid I had to put my blogging
on hold whilst I was trying not to drown in my latest design project. <br />
You’ll be glad to know that I’ve handed in, and it only took a few
all-nighters, 3 models of a castle and <b>enough caffeine to give a blue whale a
heart condition.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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I did cut my leg quite a lot with a scalpel (one of the many
perils of modelmaking) and one of the cuts is pretty deep and looking
infected….. I should probably do something about that rather than just sit here
and type….. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>*runs to the bathroom and douses lethal wound in TCP*</i><o:p></o:p></div>
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So as I haven’t blogged in a month (I missed you all!), I
thought I’d do a catch-up post, just to let you know where I am in this
overpriced and under-chocolate-filled maze we call ‘life’. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Let’s start with the biggest change- <b><u>I’VE DYED MY HAIR BRIGHT RED!!!!</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s halfway between Ariel the little mermaid and Jessica
Rabbit, and it definitely looks like I’ve murdered someone a la Psycho every
time I have a shower (which I find very amusing). <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m looking forward to Halowe’en, as this hair colour really
does open up a whole host of fancy dress opportunities. If I was less of a hermit, I would just get
my ass to a comicon-type gathering but <o:p></o:p></div>
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a. I’m broke and <o:p></o:p></div>
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b. I like being snuggled up under a duvet and watching
Netflix too much.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve wanted to go this colour for ages, and I’m so glad that
I finally had the balls to say goodbye to low-maintenance and
employable-looking hair.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I mean, Uni is the time to experiment, right? So far, I’ve
only experimented with different shapes of pasta and various scented
handwashes, so I thought it was about time I started acting my age rather than
60.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Honestly, my mindset has been so ‘old lady’ lately, I even
considered making my own jam. Then I remembered that it’s only 50p in
Sainsburys and I really don’t have time for that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One more thing that’s new-<b> I’m now employed!</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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I work at the university library, putting all the books back
when the students cba so just leave huge piles of them everywhere. I’m called a
‘<i>Library Shelver</i>’, but that’s far too serious for me so I’ve coined the term ‘<i>Shelf
Elf</i>’, which I think is far more fun and invokes an image of me sat on a shelf
singing away merrily.</div>
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The great thing is, all of us shelf elves are students, so
the fact that my hair is brighter than Simon Cowell’s teeth is absolutely fine!</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qgHe3OdHWMM/U0cNXfvpgMI/AAAAAAAAAkE/M2OW5z9Rl9A/s1600/20140331_165649.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qgHe3OdHWMM/U0cNXfvpgMI/AAAAAAAAAkE/M2OW5z9Rl9A/s1600/20140331_165649.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>Another welcome change is the state of my usually barren fridge, which for some reason always seems to contain random cloves of garlic. As my mum dropped me back home after the Spring break, it's full and one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.</div>
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<i>*wipes a tear away as I look on at my beautiful full fridge*</i></div>
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As you can probably imagine, the chocolate yogurts disappeared rather quickly...</div>
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The only other big thing that's happened to me is my hand in, but considering I've been working on this project for 3 months, it feels like a massive achievement.</div>
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I've been designing the costumes and set for the opera Rigoletto, within the beautiful ruins of Corfe Castle. I got really into the costume designs, with each character drawing inspiration from a different insect.</div>
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Here's a quick look at my costume designs & set boxes, just so you guys know what I've been working on</div>
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What do you think? And what's new with you guys? Let me know in the comments! :)</div>
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Watch this space!</div>
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Sammie</div>
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xoxo</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-89485223907746690942014-03-02T08:04:00.000-08:002014-03-02T08:04:00.100-08:00Some important life lessons I've learned along the wayHello, toasters!<br />
For those of you who have previously read this blog, you may find it pretty rich that I, of all people, am handing out advice on this untested, eventually-fatal rollercoaster we call 'life'.<br />
But, I'd like to believe that I've learnt a few things whilst making my many, many mistakes, and I wish to share my wisdom with all you lovely people.<br />
<i>Disclaimer: I use the term 'wisdom'<u> very</u> loosely.</i><br />
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First off, you know what they say about<b> keeping your friends close and your enemies closer? </b><b>Screw that!</b><br />
Surrounding yourself with people you don't like and/or trust is never going to work well.<br />
What if you become their bridesmaid and they ask you to help them pee in their huge wedding dress?<br />
You get the initial 'eww' with the added bonus of resenting the person because you don't even like them, you just kept them close because some cliche drama told you to.<br />
<i>Good job.</i><br />
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Secondly,<b> don't hoard money like there's no tomorrow. </b><br />
If you're saving up for something, then that's great, but I'm talking about the people who constantly save for a 'rainy day' then never use it.<br />
What if today is your metaphorical 'rainy day' and spending £20 on a night out with the girls will cheer you up immensely?<br />
I admit I am really quite broke right now, but I put that down to paying for a school trip in January that I didn't expect to be as expensive as it was. So yes, I am being a teensy bit hypocritical on this one....<br />
But if you want to do something, and your funds allow it, then go for it!<br />
Life is to be lived, not to be indefinitely shut away watching Netflix (although that is a substantial part of it).<br />
Whilst saying yes to everything will probably get you an STI, saying no to absolutely everything will just make you miserable. Whilst you shouldn't go to either extreme, try to find a balance that doesn't result in misery<b> or</b> herpes.<br />
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Next up,<b> try to enjoy each type of weather the different seasons bring.</b><br />
I don't mean every single day, because sometimes the weather can be a complete pain, but every so often just stop to appreciate the power of the wind, or the beautiful stormy clouds before they go.<br />
One of my best experiences in New York was walking around Times Square in the rain. I'd given my coat to my Grandma who had lost hers (of course) and I realised I'd forgotten how fun it was to embrace the rain and let it fall on your skin rather than cover up and run from it.<br />
What I'm trying to say is that learning to appreciate the little things that happen every single day will make things in general seem a lot brighter, and you'll start to notice loads more things that you didn't even know you appreciated.<br />
Personally. I've realised that I really appreciate drivers who actually indicate. Go figure.<br />
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Finally,<b> find something or someone that makes you overwhelmingly happy.</b><br />
It could be an old jumper that smells like home, or Tom Hiddleston's ass. Whatever floats your boat.<br />
Just find something and indulge in it, at least once a week to make you feel great again.<br />
For me, it's my talking Pokemon plushie Snivy. I don't know why, but putting a voicebox into a toy kind of makes it an adorable pet.<br />
It was a toss up between Snivy and my boyfriend, but Dan, you aren't a Pokemon with ridiculously tiny legs so I'm afraid you lost out.<br />
I'll leave you with a photo of Snivy just so you can see how cute she is :3<br />
What life lessons have you got to share? Let me know in the comments & don't forget to subscribe :)<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jIb5yadm47Q/UxNBcaz0ZQI/AAAAAAAAAjg/0ztO8hROi90/s1600/IMGP8553.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jIb5yadm47Q/UxNBcaz0ZQI/AAAAAAAAAjg/0ztO8hROi90/s1600/IMGP8553.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
<i>If you liked this, you may also like:</i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/london-calling.html" target="_blank">London Calling</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/how-i-got-someone-to-put-up-with-me.html" target="_blank">How I got someone to put up with me (love me, even) for a year</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/drunk-thoughts.html" target="_blank">Drunk thoughts</a></i><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-61252556085756231062014-02-24T11:39:00.001-08:002014-02-24T11:39:24.280-08:00I suck at life. Generally speaking.Hello, toasters!<br />
Now before we go any further, I must depart one dreadful, all-consuming piece of information... I, Sammie, am a <b>terrible human being.</b><br />
I don't mean that in a Hitler way, because I'm really not into the whole supreme race thing.<br />
I guess what I'm trying to say in my awkward, slightly-uncomfortable, long-winded way is that <b>I'm terrible at<i> being</i> a human being.</b><br />
Whatever you believe we have been put on this Earth for, I'm clearly doing it wrong.<br />
When it comes to seizing the day & Carpe Diem, my forever-lazy day starts at about 2pm so there's really not much left to seize.<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kE75JuMiWZw/UwudDJ2Q02I/AAAAAAAAAis/xKtKitV92JE/s1600/Confused+at+life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kE75JuMiWZw/UwudDJ2Q02I/AAAAAAAAAis/xKtKitV92JE/s1600/Confused+at+life.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I really feel like I'm not quite cutting it in the game of life.<br />
Like if I were a crisp, I'd be one of the ones you have to rustle out at the end.<br />
That's a weird comparison, but it works in my head so i'll leave it in there.<br />
Life at the minute feels like a series of oscillations- moving to and from project ideas, music, classes, moods, isolation, and artistic ability.<br />
That last one is particularly annoying... it seems that my artistic ability on any given day is random and can change rapidly for no apparent reason. So when I find that I'm having a good drawing day, I try to cram as much in as possible because I don't know when the next one will spring up.<br />
One thing that remains unchanging is my confusion. I'm now half way through University and I'm still none the wiser for how I'm going to make my sometimes-shaky life choices work.<br />
I'm really trying to absorb as much knowledge as possible, but it gets difficult when lecturers make you throw plastic bags in the air to 'let the inanimate objects live their life as they want to, without imposing our egos onto them'.<br />
I'm paraphrasing, but this woman was basically asking us whether the plastic bags really want to carry our shopping or not.<br />
£8,600 per year well spent I think.<br />
<br />
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<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://i1.ytimg.com/s_vi/s30u_Y78ekg/default.jpg?sqp=COS9rpgF&rs=AOn4CLCHRMSP8Li58WAOuZ51ftuJ-b8hTw"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/s30u_Y78ekg?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/v/s30u_Y78ekg?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
Sorry this post has been a little different from what I usually post, I guess I'm a little out of touch and just putting things out there :)<br />
See you soon,<span id="goog_2004289100"></span><br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-65480388283457332312014-02-12T14:27:00.002-08:002014-02-12T14:42:56.282-08:0022 Kick-Ass ComebacksHello, toasters!<br />
Along with the happy people excited for Valentine's Day, there are the people that hate and repel everything to do with the holiday, <b>much like most people's reaction to a Jehovah's Witnesses house call</b>.<br />
I'd be fine with this 'I hate everything romantic' view if they kept it up the whole time, but it mostly just seems to depend on their current relationship status.<br />
(Also, I know that Valentine's is an occasion made to sell cards and chocolates at extortionate prices, but I guess I'm a sheep in that respect... <i>baaaa)</i><br />
So, as Valentine's Day seems to always spark some deep-rooted arguments concerning the rather shaky roots of modern society, I have come up with <b><u>22 Kick-Ass Comebacks</u></b>, with the hope that if you find yourself in an argument, you can whip one of these out and sound completely bad ass.<br />
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<ol>
<li>Go play in traffic.</li>
<li>If you were a Pokemon, I <u>wouldn't</u> choose you. Ever.</li>
<li>If you were a search engine, you'd be Bing.com.</li>
<li>I would reply with a relevant comeback, but I'm afraid I zoned out from you talking a long time ago.</li>
<li>You're as dead to me as Fred Weasley (too soon?)</li>
<li>Keep rolling your eyes, you may find a brain back there. But I won't hold my breath.</li>
<li>Have a nice day... somewhere else.</li>
<li>Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? It must have done, look at what it did to your face!</li>
<li>I'm already visualising ductape over your mouth.</li>
<li>If this were Sherlock, you'd be Anderson- when you talk out loud you lower the IQ of the whole street.</li>
<li>If I were a meme, I'd be Bad Luck Brian because you're in my life.</li>
<li>If you were Primrose Everdeen, not even Katniss would volunteer as tribute.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3_DTea_6x6I/UvvsOvMTL6I/AAAAAAAAAh4/AiItaJPPJaI/s1600/Bad-Luck-Brian-Hunger-Games-Story.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3_DTea_6x6I/UvvsOvMTL6I/AAAAAAAAAh4/AiItaJPPJaI/s1600/Bad-Luck-Brian-Hunger-Games-Story.jpg" /></a></div>
</li>
<li>If we were a box of Celebrations, you'd be the Snickers.</li>
<li>Do you annoy people professionally, or is it just a hobby?</li>
<li>Whilst I'm offended by what you say, I'm just glad you're using words to make full sentences now.</li>
<li>I'm sorry, I can't meet up with you, I'm busy gouging my eyes out with a blunt spoon.</li>
<li>Even Lucien Freud doesn't want to paint you (art specific one there!)</li>
<li>You're a walking advert for abortions.</li>
<li>You should probably hide, the rubbish collectors will be here any minute.</li>
<li>Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like a skunk and smell like one too.</li>
<li>I would call you a retard, but that's an insult to retards.</li>
<li>I wish we lived in Westeros, so I could send you to The Wall forever.</li>
</ol>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0l7lIbn5rHE/UvvzfWO1LoI/AAAAAAAAAiE/P6ALJzyOa7c/s1600/funny-come-backs-quotes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0l7lIbn5rHE/UvvzfWO1LoI/AAAAAAAAAiE/P6ALJzyOa7c/s1600/funny-come-backs-quotes.jpg" height="278" width="400" /></a></div>
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So there you go, hopefully now you'll be able to say one of these rather than think of something 20 minutes after the argument.</div>
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What are your favourite comebacks? Let me know in the comments :)</div>
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Don't forget to subscribe for new content</div>
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Have a great Valentine's Day!</div>
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Sammie</div>
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xoxo</div>
<div>
<br />
<i>If you liked this, you may also like...</i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/drunk-thoughts.html" target="_blank">Drunk Thoughts</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/how-every-student-does-their-assignment.html" target="_blank">How Every Student Does Their Assignment</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/no78-make-list-of-awesomely-random-not.html" target="_blank">My list of awesomely random/ not at all useful things about me the world needs to know about</a></i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-46197167017872997392014-02-07T06:06:00.002-08:002014-02-12T13:17:44.352-08:00Top 10 free and completely awesome Valentine's giftsHello, toasters!<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Tfh0Zif7fqU/UvRFZsTpiZI/AAAAAAAAAhk/KdafivFIbjg/s1600/Cute+Valentines+Gifts+Illustration.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Tfh0Zif7fqU/UvRFZsTpiZI/AAAAAAAAAhk/KdafivFIbjg/s1600/Cute+Valentines+Gifts+Illustration.JPG" height="302" width="400" /></a></div>
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It's officially 1 week to go until Valentine's Day!</div>
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Now is the time for frantic phone calls, desperately trying to get a table in that Italian place you didn't know was there until you Googled it this morning.</div>
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Nowadays it seems like we don't just have to shell out money for a card, posh dinner, and itchy polyester underwear that came straight from a porno, but we also have to buy gifts for each other too.</div>
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This is an issue, as I literally have no money. </div>
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And what little money I do have is instantly zapped by the University via payments for school trips, art supplies and disappointing Hoi Sin wraps.</div>
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Therefore, I need to think of some cool budget-friendly stuff that I can do.</div>
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Here are my <b><u>Top 10 free and completely awesome Valentine' gifts</u></b></div>
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<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
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1. Cook a meal at home. And by 'cook', I do not mean Dominos or microwavable stuff. Keep it classy. However, if you go to Waitrose and find they have something you could believably pass off as your own, go for it... just get rid of the packaging first!</div>
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<i>Oh, the struggles of being a modern woman.</i></div>
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2. Send him (or her, I don't judge) a romantic, heartfelt note.</div>
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For those of us that don't have time for that crap, I've made a template you may all use...</div>
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<b>Dear </b>(insert name here)<b>,</b></div>
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<b>Although we have only been together for </b>a week/ a few months/ too long why are you still here<b>, I know my feelings for you are true. </b></div>
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<b>You make me feel like no-one else can; when I am with you I feel </b>happy/ on top of the world/ constipated<b>.</b></div>
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<b>I remember our first date when you took me to </b>(insert name of crappy 'restaurant' he took you to, which really should have been an early warning sign) <b>and we talked about</b> whatever sport he inevitably talked about <b>all night long.</b></div>
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<b>And when I introduced me to my friends, I knew you were the one because of the way you </b>smiled/ looked at me/ embarrassed me so much I have had to find new friends<b>.</b></div>
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<b>I hope I get to spend </b>my life/ your overdraft<b> with you, thank you for </b>everything/ nothing<b>.</b></div>
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<b>Lots of </b>love/ utter contempt<b>, </b></div>
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(insert your name or sexist pet name they use for you)</div>
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<b>xxx</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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3. Play a board game together and let them win. Nothing says love like letting a fool win at Monopoly even though their tactics are <u>terrible</u>, and they should know by now that you can never win by relying on a hotel on Old Kent Road.</div>
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4. Root through your cupboards and fridge to find something unopened. When they unwrap it and look at you questioningly, get all excited and squeal <i>'I know that Heinz Baked Beans are your favourite!'</i></div>
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Makes you look thoughtful <u>and</u> concerned that they're getting a nutritional diet.</div>
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Boom, you're a keeper.</div>
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5. Create a coupon book. Whilst this can genuinely be a really good gift, I'd definitely include things like 'I will give you the remote', and 'I will admit I'm wrong and let you win this argument'.</div>
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Just be sure to add short expiry dates in tiny, faint writing just to add a hint of evil.</div>
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6. Agree to watch their favourite film, and not comment too often about how Keanu Reeves is <b>exactly the same character in every movie he's in</b>. Sometimes I think he wasn't intentionally an actor, he just accidentally walked onto a set one day and he didn't have the heart to tell them he wasn't 'The Chosen One'.</div>
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7. Give them a back massage. And for those of you who don't know how, it's just like trying to rub an inevitable morning toothpaste mark out of your shirt in the morning. Just do that on their shoulder blades with slowly-increasing pressure until it gets so painful they ask you to stop. The plus side to this one is that you will never be asked to give another massage again- aww yiss!</div>
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8. Cut out hundreds of heart shapes from plain paper and scatter them around their room. On the hearts, write things that you love about them, or your favourite memories together. However, vent your anger and give them a piece of your mind on a few, just to shake things up a bit.</div>
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Note- this one works better for long-term relationships... it'll probably come across as a bit creepy if you've only known them a few weeks and have broken into their room just to litter it with cut out bits of paper.</div>
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9. Quote their favourite memes or lyrics throughout the day. Bonus points for inappropriate timings, especially if the lyrics you are quoting are by Sean Paul.</div>
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10. Try your absolute hardest not to be an asshole to them for a whole day.</div>
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So, there we go, my 10 gift ideas, that really prove how little is free in today's world. </div>
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<i>Disclaimer: Unless your partner is <u>very</u> understanding, the majority of these ideas will probably get you dumped. I will not accept liability for people with broken shoulders because your massage didn't work out.</i></div>
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What are you doing for Valentine's Day? Let me know in the comments :)</div>
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Sammie</div>
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xoxo</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<i>If you liked this, you may also like...</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/london-calling.html" target="_blank">London Calling</a></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/how-i-got-someone-to-put-up-with-me.html" target="_blank">How I got someone to put up with me (love me, even) for a year</a></i></div>
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<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/money-saving-challenge-of-week-not-to.html" target="_blank">Money Saving Challenge: Not to spend ANYTHING</a></i></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-81565492982137029712014-02-02T10:01:00.001-08:002014-02-02T10:01:23.282-08:00The Ramblings of a Frazzled MindHello, toasters!<br />
It's times like this I wish I could just fly away and have a holiday to escape the January Blues & English weather.<br />
I'm now at that point after Christmas where I'm eating <b>everything</b> and never feeling full.<br />
It seems that I've only just had dinner when my asshole of an inner conscious tells me that i <u>need</u> chocolate ASAP.<br />
The only thing keeping me from eating my own weight in chocolate is my chocolate machine that I got for Christmas, because to get the chocolate I need to give it 10p. And 99% of the time, I don't have even that much going spare.<br />
At the moment, my bank balance is in minus figures.<br />
It would be okay, but my bank texts me every morning just to remind me how poor I am.<br />
This is terrible for three main reasons:<br />
1. I'm broke and a general failure at life.<br />
2. I now begin every day with a bout of depression<br />
3. They always text me waaaay too early, so I start each day sleepy <b>and</b> sad. A mix that any student after hand-in can tell you is bad.<br />
Thanks, Bank.<br />
I feel like I'm really busy this term, with no time for anything but my work.<br />
Whilst I am glad that I'm completely throwing myself into my work, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss wasting away three days on tumblr/pinterest/netflix/youtube/all of the above.<br />
I know this post is short, and not at all focused, but my brain is honestly frazzled. I don't know how long i'll feel like this- like some sort of bewildered being that isn't quite registering anything- but hopefully it passes pretty quick.<br />
I'll leave you with this... my favourite Sherlock meme for season 3<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mC75Iz_2i8k/Uu6F7fZP8pI/AAAAAAAAAhM/UykZVoT5ZiY/s1600/sherlockmeme5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mC75Iz_2i8k/Uu6F7fZP8pI/AAAAAAAAAhM/UykZVoT5ZiY/s1600/sherlockmeme5.jpg" height="640" width="412" /></a></div>
<br />
See you soon<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
P.S. if would mean the world to me if you could fill in <a href="https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/HHSH3RN" target="_blank">this quick survey about Opera?</a> You really don't have to know anything about Opera, but it's for my project and only 5 questions long... pleeeeease?!<br />
<br />
<i>If you liked this post, you may also like...</i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/drunk-thoughts-2.html" target="_blank">Drunk Thoughts 2</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/westie-dog-speed-painting.html" target="_blank">Westie Dog Speed Painting Video</a></i><br />
<a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/how-every-student-does-their-assignment.html" target="_blank">How Every Student Does Their Assignment</a><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-56809165725424431462014-01-26T09:44:00.000-08:002014-01-26T09:44:42.191-08:00London Trip (Insert Witty Title Here)<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LY06n1rffG0/UuVHO7N_kVI/AAAAAAAAAg8/wffpxfad5FE/s1600/IMGP7667.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LY06n1rffG0/UuVHO7N_kVI/AAAAAAAAAg8/wffpxfad5FE/s1600/IMGP7667.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>Hello, toasters!<br />
So, as some of you who read the last post know, I've just got back from a London uni trip.<br />
<i>I'm so tempted to call it a school trip, but that definitely brings pigtails and pleated skirts to mind, so i'll avoid it.</i><br />
This is going to be a pretty picture-heavy post, because I have so many awesome photos... mainly from Harry Potter World!<br />
We did so many things- saw Swan Lake, The Commitments, different theatre spaces, tours of opera houses and I even saw Matilda (so cute!) but <b>Harry Potter World beat everything else hands down.</b><br />
It was basically an explosion of nostalgic childhood memories infused with butterbeer and hyperactivity due to having eaten nothing but a discounted chocolate Santa that morning.<br />
<i>I know, I am an advert for a healthy lifestyle.</i><br />
So here are a few of my favourite photos, enjoy!<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GbcijFqUFg0/UuVGFO3xy-I/AAAAAAAAAgc/FjMfXxqpRPg/s1600/IMGP8207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GbcijFqUFg0/UuVGFO3xy-I/AAAAAAAAAgc/FjMfXxqpRPg/s1600/IMGP8207.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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I love the old lady's face in the last one... like she's never seen a bunch of art students (prats) take a self-timer photo before.</div>
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We did the classic thing where we all crouched in, although we would have fit fine anyway.</div>
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Oh well!</div>
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See you next time,</div>
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Sammie</div>
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xoxo</div>
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If you liked this post, you may also like...</div>
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<a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/how-i-got-someone-to-put-up-with-me.html" target="_blank">How I got someone to put up with me (love me, even) for a year</a></div>
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<a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/my-thoughts-on-tattoos.html" target="_blank">My thoughts on tattoos</a></div>
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<a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/10-things-you-should-never-say-to.html" target="_blank">10 things you should never say to a pregnant woman</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-19732058498103808312014-01-19T17:20:00.000-08:002014-01-19T17:20:28.460-08:00London CallingHello toasters!<br />
This morning I'm heading into to London for a uni trip- <i>where else would we be able to listen to Opera and spend hundreds of pounds on fabric in the same day?!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iOSx6xZGKH4/Utx0ha0j4bI/AAAAAAAAAeA/GQ36HJsmuJY/s1600/1509922_10151871938916139_1093969753_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iOSx6xZGKH4/Utx0ha0j4bI/AAAAAAAAAeA/GQ36HJsmuJY/s1600/1509922_10151871938916139_1093969753_n.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's too late to be drawing a new illustration for this post, so I thought <br />
I'd use this 'illustration selfie' I did a few weeks ago :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i><br /></i>
Having to get up at 7am tomorrow will be difficult, made even harder by the fact that I have to leave my bonsai trees behind <b>for a whole week</b>.<br />
Seriously, I <u>never</u> thought I could ever be so connected to a plant... maybe it's just a coping mechanism when I get depressed about:<br />
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a. My student loan </div>
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b. My 'future' </div>
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c. Miley Cyrus' existence </div>
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or </div>
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d. All of the above. </div>
<br />
We're visiting Harry Potter world tomorrow, which I am definitely far too excited about.<br />
I had intended to sew myself a Ravenclaw robe to wear- you know, to actually get my £9,000 tuition fee's worth- but it ended up in the bottom of my wardrobe, where all my other half-finished projects go to die.<br />
I need to try and find the self-restraint to <u>not</u> buy a wand, or else you may find me sobbing in a gutter, waving it and whispering 'accio, money'.<br />
(Muggles, beware of HP terminology)<br />
<br />
Looking at my overflowing suitcase, I fear I may have done my usual trick- packing everything <b>but</b> the things I actually need.<br />
One year I went to Spain, forgot my swimwear and had to spend my time in ill-fitting, hastily-purchased bikinis that made a synthetic fart sound <u>every time </u>I moved.<br />
(Sorry, that's probably an overshare, but it's the best example I've got)<br />
The worst thing is, I usually remember what I've forgotten <i>just</i> as I reach my destination, so I'll keep you posted as to what vital thing I've left behind this time.<br />
<i>Spoiler alert: It's usually socks.</i><br />
<br />
I hope you all have a fantastic Monday morning, and get to have the lie in that I wont be able to have.<br />
I'm still debating whether or not to bring my laptop along, so if you don't hear from me for a week, you'll know why.<br />
Watch this space<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-67782909206545241842014-01-16T15:22:00.000-08:002014-01-16T15:46:34.047-08:00How I got someone to put up with me (love me, even) for a yearHello, toasters!<br />
So, on the 18th, me and Dan will have been together for a year!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sjexXuYPiOM/UtH8_yhU7sI/AAAAAAAAAdI/bIRumTNkHY4/s1600/IMGP7517.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sjexXuYPiOM/UtH8_yhU7sI/AAAAAAAAAdI/bIRumTNkHY4/s1600/IMGP7517.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is my first time drawing Dan, I have yet to work on it.... so don't judge me!</td></tr>
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<br />
Aside from the fact that he's <b>always hungry</b> (seriously, how can guys eat so much?!), he's practically perfect.<br />
<i>Disclaimer: When I say that, I mean that he's 'practically perfect' <u>for me</u>. I'm aware that not everybody likes their men with long hair, band shirts and a willingness to watch children's cartoons with you at 5am. But that pretty much ticks all the boxes for me.</i><br />
If you have read this blog before, or have had the unfortunate luck of meeting me in person, you'll know I'm not quite perfect.<br />
I'm clumsy, too loud, childish, and I'm sometimes a little bit thick. (I bought fireworks from Lidl for fireworks night this year. Surprise, surprise, they didn't work, and nearly killed us all to boot. On the plus side though, it was fun)<br />
I also have started to snort when I laugh.<br />
Which is never attractive. <b>Ever.</b><br />
So, I hear you cry, how did you manage to get someone to put up with you for a <u>whole year?</u><br />
Well, I think I've distilled my main method into a few key points...<br />
<br />
<b><u>Find that one little thing that they hate and inflict it upon them a few times a week</u></b><br />
You know, just so that they appreciate it when you're taking the time and effort <u>not</u> to be a prat.<br />
For Dan, it's Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader that he hates.<br />
Luckily for him, I love this song, so it's really quite easy for me to hum it around the house, when we're out shopping, or even as he's drifting off to sleep.<br />
Sometimes, when he's tossing and turning in his sleep, an evil part of my brain likes to think that it's that song that's disturbing him so much.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Try new experiences together</u></b><br />
For example...<br />
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FYI, the 50 Shades of Grey wasn't a joint venture... what he does in his free time is up to him I guess<br />
*cough* FREAK *cough*<br />
<br />
<b><u>Try and get into each others' interests</u></b><br />
I actually wrote a post about our <a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/compromises-from-theatre-lover-to.html" target="_blank">Compromises between a Theatre-Lover and Metalhead</a>, and in about a month's time I'll be holding up my end of the deal and going to a metal gig.<br />
<i>If I die in a moshpit, tell my family I love them. And make sure Gina doesn't get all my stuff.</i><br />
But seriously, dragging a reluctant Dan into the world of 16 & Pregnant and other crappy TV has done wonders for our relationship.<br />
Aside from reminding us how lucky we are, it also acts as a great source of entertainment, as the teen mums invariably give their kids terrible names.<br />
There have been several kids named Bentley now, and I swear one of them got the nickname 'Benterz'.<br />
<i>Stay classy, kids.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b><u>Get them to do stuff for you by classing it as 'teamwork'</u></b><br />
Don't like the yellow Jelly Tots? Feed them to an unsuspecting sleeping boyfriend.<br />
Need your washing up done? As long as you hug him and sing Toploader whilst he's doing it, it's all good.<br />
I know it's exploitation, but it does mean that I have less things to stress about, meaning I have more time to be a super-awesome Girlfriend, making him sandwiches and shit.<br />
Also, I do the drying up, so I guess that's something?!<br />
<br />
So there you have it- an insider's guide to making a long-term relationship work.<br />
To be honest, I'm pretty sure that most of this stuff only works because we're nutters, but hey ho!<br />
What would you recommend for keeping the love alive?<br />
Let me know in the comments :)<br />
See you soon<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
P.S.<br />
I've recently realised that if this page doesn't load properly, all the text becomes Comic Sans.<br />
I dont know whether to laugh or cry...<br />
<br />
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<br />
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<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/the-last-supper-before-im-back-to.html" target="_blank">The Last Supper (Before I'm back to malnourishment at my student house)</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/money-saving-challenge-of-week-not-to.html" target="_blank">Money Saving Challenge: Not to Spend ANYTHING for a week</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/how-to-get-over-break-up-in-5-steps.html" target="_blank">How to get over a break up in 5 steps</a></i><br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-85042589090621532452014-01-09T17:25:00.002-08:002014-01-09T17:25:52.978-08:00Drunk Thoughts 2Hello, toasters!<br />
So yes, due to the events of this evening, I find myself intoxicated yet again.<br />
By 'events', I mean the casual suggestion of an after-dinner drink at home, which was followed by 5 hours of hardcore cocktail drinking.<br />
And by 'hardcore cocktail', I mean the Apple Sourz mixer that tastes SO BAD that I got for Christmas, and I figured that I may as well drink it whilst drunk, so that I wouldn't be able to register how bad it tastes.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ad5-LDdyAdg/Us8_1QL8QYI/AAAAAAAAAco/HHISyYS-ph4/s1600/glasses.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ad5-LDdyAdg/Us8_1QL8QYI/AAAAAAAAAco/HHISyYS-ph4/s1600/glasses.bmp" height="640" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry, no illustration today- I'm definitely not in a fit state to even attempt picking up a pen.<br />However, I hope you enjoy this photograph, which I took whilst on holiday...<br />and it kind of links to my alcohol theme... right?!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So here is a list of embarrassing things that I have done this evening, that I definitely would not have done if it weren't for the alcohol coursing through my veins:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>I may have tried to fit six full-sized Oreo cookies into my mouth at the same time.</li>
<li>I may have made a friend of mine who has recently come out as being a lesbian touch my boobs to fell how bouncy they are.</li>
<li>I may have set my housemate's wallpaper photo as a graphic image of gay porn.</li>
</ul>
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<br /></div>
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So really, for me, that isn't too bad at all!</div>
<div>
Now I don't want you guys to think that I'm a raving alcoholic- whilst I may enjoy a drink or two, I rarely go out, instead preferring the comfort of Netflix and a duvet.</div>
<div>
But I thought, as I am slightly inebriated, I may as well make another 'drunk reflections on life' post, which I can cringe at tomorrow when I wake up.</div>
<div>
Here goes nothing...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><u>Why is it so difficult to use an umbrella?</u></b></div>
<div>
I'm talking about when it's properly raining, with hurricane-esque winds to match... no-one ever prepares you for the difficulty of this task, for how many umbrellas you will disfigure on your travels.</div>
<div>
And another thing that makes umbrella use impossible for the overly-polite Brit is <i>umbrella etiquette.</i></div>
<div>
If I am walking towards someone who is also using an umbrella on a slim pavement, what is the accepted procedure? </div>
<div>
We end up doing the trying-to-dodge-each-other pavement dance, which is made infinitely worse by the fact that the umbrellas get tangled up with each other.</div>
<div>
Unwritten British law states that you cannot interact with a stranger in public for more than 15 seconds without having to get engaged, married, and raise at least two children named after biblical characters.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
On Christmas, <i>why do loads of random relatives that I've never heard of suddenly appear? </i></div>
<div>
Surely it's cheaper to make contact when it's not the holiday season, so we don't feel pressured into buying each other bath salts that we wrap in cellophane to disguise the fact that zero effort went into the gift.</div>
<div>
Long lost Auntie makes contact in July? </div>
<div>
Cool, we should go to the beach together sometime.</div>
<div>
Long lost Auntie makes contact in late November?</div>
<div>
Better buy her some chocolates and hope she isn't lactose intolerant.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>'Dogs are basically cats with an attention-seeking complex.' -Sammie</b></div>
<div>
As a cat lover, and academic, I can say that the above statement is completely true. </div>
<div>
Dogs need walks, whereas cats take the initiative and entertain themselves for the day, <u>like functioning members of society.</u></div>
<div>
Dogs, however, need haircuts, walks and specialist toys, which mostly get buried in your new flowerbed of roses.</div>
<div>
If a child did that as a token of thanks for free lodging in your home, you'd put them in care.</div>
<div>
Don't even pretend you wouldn't. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, dear toasters, (and all of those people that have stumbled across my website and wonder why I am referring to you as a kitchen appliance) I will leave you with this old photograph I have just this minute found on my hard drive.</div>
<div>
Katniss Everdeen, eat your heart out.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1fs2T3WToDI/Us9JbvnCm2I/AAAAAAAAAc4/OJTAjMtFB5o/s1600/DSCF8356.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1fs2T3WToDI/Us9JbvnCm2I/AAAAAAAAAc4/OJTAjMtFB5o/s1600/DSCF8356.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Disclaimer: If my sister Gina gets chosen in the reaping, I will not volunteer<br />as tribute. She's a little git.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sammie</div>
<div>
xoxo</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>If you liked this, you may also like...</i></div>
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<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/how-every-student-does-their-assignment.html" target="_blank">How Every Student Does Their Assignment</a></i></div>
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<a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/top-10-things-to-do-in-new-york.html" target="_blank">Top 10 Things to do in New York</a></div>
<div>
<a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/what-being-homealone-means.html" target="_blank">What Being Homealone Means...</a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-76999538338159683982014-01-04T12:41:00.000-08:002014-01-04T12:41:04.485-08:00The Last Supper (before I'm back to malnourishment at my student house)<div style="text-align: left;">
Hello, toasters!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Today I am writing to you from my brand new laptop- a white HP Pavilion laptop that is cooler than the arctic itself. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
However, to get said laptop, I had to go to PC World. For <u>four hours!</u></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Before this, I had just made a 2 hour journey, which put me through the terrifying ordeal of having someone nearly sit next to me on public transport.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Oh, the horror!</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So, aside from almost committing mass genocide in PC World, I think my sanity has just about clung on & is still with me. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I think...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W9Hn4IVEzaw/UshxFB6FasI/AAAAAAAAAcY/i5sephFaCCY/s1600/HP+Pavilion+Laptop+Illustration.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W9Hn4IVEzaw/UshxFB6FasI/AAAAAAAAAcY/i5sephFaCCY/s400/HP+Pavilion+Laptop+Illustration.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm intending to do an illustration for each post, so hopefully i'll improve bit by bit :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Tomorrow morning, I will be travelling back down to Bournemouth, as I start Uni again on Monday.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I resent this fact for two main reasons: </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li> I have to be up at 8am, which is a greatly unreasonable hour for a nocturnal person such as myself.</li>
<li> Whilst I can cook, I can't afford the quality of food that my mum can here at home.</li>
</ol>
I will be going from grand roast dinners with all the trimmings to a sandwich from the Co-Op, which may or may not contain real chicken and arguably smells like a pensioner.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Mmmm, I love the smell of pensioner in the morning.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
However, there are several things I am looking forward to...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li> Seeing all my housemates and friends again, cracking inappropriate 'Your Mum' jokes 24/7 and generally being goofy.</li>
<li> Being a 30 second walk away from Iceland, which has a good offer on for Pringles.</li>
<li> Starting classes again</li>
</ol>
Whilst I love lying in all day and mooching about the house, I really can't wait to dig my teeth into another project. There's something about having a new project that revives my passion and creativity for the arts.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Also, procrastinating is always more fun when you actually have something to avoid.</div>
<br />
So now I have the task of packing everything up, which has become a proper challenge as Mum has turned half of my room into a Chinese Laundry.<br />
Last night I couldn't get to sleep for ages, so instead of counting sheep, I counted how many ugly shirts there were hanging up that would benefit from a bout of spontaneous combustion.<br />
So, the next time I post I'll be back in Bournemouth!<br />
Are you looking forward to going back? Let me know in the comments :)<br />
Don't forget to subscribe you cheeky monkeys<br />
(Sorry, I've been spending too much time watching children's TV... because I have younger siblings.... not because I actually enjoy it...don't judge me)<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
<br />
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<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/challenge-no19-watch-entire-series-in.html" target="_blank">Challenge: Watch an entire series in a day</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/public-relations-wheelchair-chronicles.html" target="_blank">Public Relations (The Wheelchair Chronicles, part 2)</a></i><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-42566272981445145692013-12-30T17:15:00.002-08:002013-12-31T02:25:08.858-08:0010 New Year's Resolutions for all of us who think Wii fit counts as exercise<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tsIxeYLC_5A/UsIZ4jH9TTI/AAAAAAAAAb8/BdIV2d7obE0/s1600/IMGP7489.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tsIxeYLC_5A/UsIZ4jH9TTI/AAAAAAAAAb8/BdIV2d7obE0/s400/IMGP7489.JPG" title="happy new year" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here's my Happy New Year illustration... I did it when I got home <br />
from the pub and was rather kettled... so I'm pleased that it came out okay!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Hello, toasters!<br />
Be honest with me now, how many New Year's Resolutions have you made and <strong>actually kept for a whole year?</strong><br />
Anyone? <br />
Nope, did think so.<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P8Xt3doAbzI/UsGfQ3W_dZI/AAAAAAAAAbs/3zvBfo9DfdI/s1600/487807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P8Xt3doAbzI/UsGfQ3W_dZI/AAAAAAAAAbs/3zvBfo9DfdI/s400/487807.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
The classic 'I <u>will</u> get fit' means buying an expensive gym membership, going once in January but find it too crowded because everyone else has had the same idea, consoling yourself with a bar of dairy milk and only going one other time in the year when you ran out of hot water for a shower.<br />
So, I have decided to make my 10 New Year's Resolutions realistic, and also pretty do-able, giving me a much-needed sense of achievement as I struggle through my second year of uni, with only tears and pringles keeping me going.<br />
Here we go:<br />
<ol>
<li>I will not name all of my files 'jghppiovdsksofjsd'.</li>
<li>I will not spend three consecutive days in the same onesie.</li>
<li>I will not share my life story with every subway worker, taxi driver and hobo whilst drunk on my way home from a night out.</li>
<li>I will avoid using fandom-specific/meme references in front of my family- the time it takes to explain it to them is not worth it & makes me want to bludgeon myself to death with a blunt spoon.</li>
<li>I will come up with more imaginative passwords.</li>
<li>I will stop setting a 'lie-in' alarm. It makes me realise how snuggly I am and just gives me time to convince myself I don't have to do anything today.</li>
<li>I will not eat all of my advent calendar chocolates in one go. I will wait to <em>at least</em> day three before I give up. Yeah, willpower!</li>
<li>I will become less obsessed with <em>Ru Paul's Drag Race</em>... for those of you who haven't watched it, it's essentially America's Next Top Model for Drag Queens and it is <u>fabulous!</u></li>
<li>I will not fall into a black hole of despair when I finish a series. If I spend any more time immersed in Tumblr, my brain will turn to mushy peas.</li>
<li>I will not Snapchat in inappropriate places. No-one likes a toilet selfie.</li>
</ol>
So, there we have it... my list that I will try to keep for a whole year!<br />
What are your New Year's Resolutions? Let me know in the comments :)<br />
Have a fantastic New Year everyone!<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
<br />
<em>If you liked this, you may also like...</em><br />
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<em><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/my-thoughts-on-tattoos.html" target="_blank">My thoughts on tattoos</a></em><br />
<em><a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/the-wheelchair-chronicles.html" target="_blank">The Wheelchair Chronicles</a></em><br />
<br />
<em></em><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-33786763548744217632013-12-28T09:54:00.000-08:002013-12-28T09:54:01.796-08:00My Christmassy Week in PicturesHello, toasters!<br />
It's that time of year again to attack random people in H&M for a pair of discount shoes (that didn't sell for a reason) and to desperately cobble together a New Years Eve plan.<br />
And, for those of us who have just returned from visiting Grandparents who <em>always</em> have the latest bug, it's time to recover from the inevitable illnesses gained from their tropically-hot homes.<br />
It seems that this year, besides smellies and new pots for my bonsai trees, my Grandma has also given me a winter bug. <br />
<strong>Oh, you shouldn't have.</strong><br />
So at the moment I have a wicked sore throat, which is possibly a blessing in disguise as I'm losing the weight gained from Christmas due to the fact that I can't actually swallow anything.<br />
<em>Silver linings, right?</em><br />
As I'm feeling foggier than Lindsay Lohan's head after a rough night out, I thought that today I'd post a picture-heavy post, summing up my Christmassy week! <br />
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So this week, I went to a pet store and fell in love with many small fury animals, made a chocolate santa sleigh, constructed a train track around the living room to deliver presents and received some really thoughtful gifts!</div>
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From Dan I got a beautiful Swarovski crystal necklace (the real thing!) so now I actually have something really valuable to worry about if I ever get mugged...</div>
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He also got me a plushie of my starter Pokémon Snivy, who actually talks to me! This little sweetie has transformed me back into a 5 year old, as she goes <u>everywhere</u> with me and I even made her up a place at the table for Christmas dinner.</div>
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God knows how society expects me to function as an adult.</div>
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I fear for you all.</div>
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Sammie</div>
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xoxo</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-30470036511864198122013-12-24T08:43:00.001-08:002013-12-24T08:43:51.577-08:00Westie Dog Speed PaintingHello, toasters!<br />
I hope you're all having a wonderfully festive Christmas Eve :)<br />
For my Secret Santa present, I decided to paint my Auntie's dog, Jack, for her. She seemed to really love it, so that made me feel all lovely and Christmassy!<br />
I thought I'd make a speed-painting video of it, and share it with you all to help you get through the drunk Uncles, indigestion and brussel sprout farts that you will have to face in the days to come.<br />
Enjoy!<br />
<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/r75DvBCbocU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Let me know what you think, and maybe i'll make some more :)<br />
Don't forget to like, comment & subscribe for more. <br />
1 sleep to go until Christmas!<br />
Sammie <br />
xoxo<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-2266828986721707982013-12-18T17:32:00.000-08:002013-12-18T17:32:32.110-08:00Drunk thoughts...<div style="text-align: left;">
Hello, toasters!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Hold on a second, I need to plug in my laptop as it's just told me I have '7 minutes of battery life left' AKA 'plug me in now bitch, you have 5 seconds'.</div>
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7 minutes my arse.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IkA3jTJU6Cc/UrJEoYt5lTI/AAAAAAAAAXc/JK_RvzC58to/s1600/IMGP7202.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IkA3jTJU6Cc/UrJEoYt5lTI/AAAAAAAAAXc/JK_RvzC58to/s1600/IMGP7202.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drunk selfie is drunk. Go home, drunk selfie.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So tonight I went out with my friends from college, and it was great!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Although, I did end up drinking those awful VK drinks (the blue ones that almost exactly match the colour- and taste- of the stuff you put in the toilet) because they were on offer. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I feel like my mother, buying stuff I don't particularly want/ need just because <strong>it's on offer.</strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I don't know if it's technically a part of the human condition, but there's something about a 3-for-£5 offer that always gets me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And now I have a blue tongue.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So, as I was sat in the pub, feeling fourteen again with my luminous drinks, I got drunk. I don't know how, because no one <u>ever</u> gets drunk on alcopops- even though we all pretended when we sent that 'oops, that was meant for someone else' text to our crush even though <strong>we all know what you are up to, you are literally being as subtle as a gun.</strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But hopefully you cant tell how intoxicated I am from my grammar, but that's probably owing to the spell checker (God bless the spell checker!) more than anything else.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I've already used spell check more times than I would in an essay for just these few paragraphs.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Help.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Whilst I was in the car home, trying desperately to seem less drunk than I was, I couldn't help but question the meaning of life, which progressed naturally, to an internal debate about video games.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Why, in a world such as this, do we spend far more time playing QWOP than doing useful stuff like phoning grandparents and discovering where the fuck those scissors have disappeared to AGAIN?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It certainly cant be because it's easier. I find it far less painful to have a chat with a pensioner than to try and spasm my way to a non-negative score. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
For those of you who haven't played QWOP, you need to re-evaluate your life.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Or Google it. Because, as we all know, Googling something is an alternative to actually doing something. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That's another thought... Google.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Now, we all love Google, and if it shut down we wouldn't know what to do. Especially with it's closest competitor being Bing.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
(I love the fact that the most searched for thing on Bing is Google, and I wonder how many CEOs of Bing cry themselves to sleep at night over this fact)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But, as we all love Google, why does everyone seem to hate Google+ so much?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yes, it was essentially forced on us through YouTube etc. but it's not so bad.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's basically like Facebook, with more interesting groups stuff, less random people from Slovakia adding you and less annoying 'Your Mum' pages we haven't unliked yet from 4 years ago.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Oh, I hate those pages!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Remember when it was really cool to like all those pages with funny names? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yeah, not so funny now.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I <u>STILL</u> get random posts from the occasional one in my newsfeed. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I should really get to bed now, and leave my liver to have a panic attack at my drinking three times more units than I should have.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm sorry, liver.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Wow, and now I'm talking to an internal organ.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
New low-point reached? Check.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Until next time, toasters!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Sammie</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
xoxo</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
P.S. Only 6 more sleeps to go until Christmas!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-57324900673592584472013-12-12T05:31:00.000-08:002013-12-12T05:31:08.991-08:00It's Chriiiiiiistmaaaaaas! (Slade Style) Hello, toasters!<br />
Only 12 days to go!<br />
<strong>Anyone who knows me will probably agree that I'm basically a little kid wrapped in a 19 year olds body. So yes, <u>Christmas is still a huge deal for me</u></strong>.<br />
I mean, when else is it acceptable to wear itchy 'I-think-it's-supposed-to-be-a-snowman' jumpers and to have eaten 3 packs of After Eight's before noon?!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KF2meuyTrEc/Uqm3BWyK8YI/AAAAAAAAAV0/_mqkvoY8t5A/s1600/66113_450689818338306_2089228488_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KF2meuyTrEc/Uqm3BWyK8YI/AAAAAAAAAV0/_mqkvoY8t5A/s400/66113_450689818338306_2089228488_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Tis the season.... to wear funny hats with your mother in selfies</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
To me, <em>'Christmas Spirit'</em> is made up of three things:<br />
<ul>
<li>Cheesey Christmas songs (<em>XFactor not included</em>)</li>
<li>Pigs in blankets!</li>
<li>Buying presents for everyone</li>
</ul>
Now the first two always get my spirits right up as soon as they come on the scene. Who doesn't love singing along to Slade (<em>did they actually <strong>do</strong> anything else?)</em> and eating pork sausages wrapped in yet more pork?!<br />
<br />
The third is a little more tricky, but definitely the most rewarding.<br />
Honestly, there's nothing more exciting and excruciatingly painful than knowing you've got the best gift ever, and waiting to see what their face looks like when they open it.<br />
But, not having much money, this has always posed as a challenge to me.<br />
<br />
One year, I really couldn't stretch to more than £20 for the whole of my present budget. <br />
And I have a <u>big</u> family<em>. As in, more than the Kardashian clan big.</em> <br />
That year everyone received homemade cookies, and called me <em>'original'</em>, but I think they definitely saw through my 15-year-old broke ass.<br />
<br />
This year I've had a little more money to spend due to savings from my summer job, so I've been able to splash out a bit.<br />
I visited the Bournemouth Christmas Market the other day, and it was <u>magical.</u><br />
The Disney Princess inside of me was overjoyed- there were ponies in a pen, carol singers, ice skaters, <strong>the whole sha-bang.</strong> <br /><u>Even the little kid who fell over on the ice looked magical as they were in a Santa outfit.</u><br />
And it was also a great place for finding 'gifty' things that would have taken ages to find on the high street/ internet.<br />
'Authentic' spell book for Tarot-obsessed step mother? Check.<br />
Bright purple candle with interesting Islamic design for Bohemian grandmother? Check.<br />
Minion stuffed toy for overly-consumerist little sister? Check.<br />
I got more people ticked off my list in a shorter amount of time than it takes to decide whether just a hoodie or a full coat is better to face the weather outside. Is it just me, or do I <u>always </u>seem to dress wrong for the weather?!<br />
<br />
But one thing I would say about the Christmas Market, is to go with your partner. I tried to go on my own last year, but just felt sad and lonely amongst the sea of couples that looked as if they'd just stepped out of an M&S advert.<br />
But this year, that was me! Because I was holding hands with someone rather than being forever alone, <em>I was the one who has just stepped out of the M&S advert! My hair even had a faint shimmer to it!</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VrwthTJPsBI/Uqm23PKOh7I/AAAAAAAAAVs/RQUUgUaTQ1Q/s1600/20131207_124633.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VrwthTJPsBI/Uqm23PKOh7I/AAAAAAAAAVs/RQUUgUaTQ1Q/s320/20131207_124633.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I also decorated the tree yesterday, which always gets me feeling Christmassy. <br />
Before we begin, we always choose a radio station that plays all the Christmas classics as a backdrop. However, we couldn't find a station like that yesterday, so we plumped for some religious channel, which was having a 'debate' which was becoming increasingly heated and was, naturally, hilarious.<br />
Now I'm not one for subtlety, so I always put as many lights and baubles on as possible. Because no-one ever died from too many Christmas decorations, did they? <br />
Here's the finished article, which I am very proud of :D <br />
Ta-Daaaaa! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DuSErCQqICs/Uqm2qWu0hnI/AAAAAAAAAVk/fgZH2JbjBvI/s320/20131211_204151.jpg" width="240" /></div>
<br />
Considering that me and my sister usually get on worse than Snape and Harry, I think we did really well and only had <u>one</u> argument! Which, strangely, was about a piñata rather than anything Christmas related so there you go.<br />
<br />So, toasters, I hope that you are all having a great holiday season and are getting into the Christmas mood!<br />
Don't forget to comment & subscribe (because it's a time for giving, right?)<br />
Fa la la la la, la la la laaaa :)<br />
See you soon!<br />
Sammie xoxo<br />
<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-59433784229258881582013-12-05T08:32:00.000-08:002013-12-05T08:32:27.031-08:00How Every Student Does Their AssignmentHello, toasters!<br />
So today I handed in my project I've been working on since September, and I'm genuinely buzzing with excitement. <br />
Its either that or the two tubes of Pringles and six-pack of Diet Coke I've ingested over the past 12 hours or so.<em> Either or.</em><br />
So this past week I've been super busy- sorry for the lack of posts, but you know... I'm paying £8,600 a year for tuition, I may as well roll out of bed in the morning and try. <br />
And by roll, I literally mean <u>roll.<em> </em></u><br />
<em>Boy, are all those Pringles coming back to haunt me now.</em><br />
Like every student, I sort of procrastinated for the best part of 2 months, doing the occasional bit of work <em>when absolutely necessary</em> but nothing too tedious.<br />
Instead, I decided to focus on the more important things in life, like buying new throw pillows and <u>mastering the ancient art of cheese on toast.</u><br />
I know right, <strong>pretty deep stuff.</strong><br />
But this got me thinking about how students do their projects, and looking around the room at hand-in, I noticed a pattern of vacant stares and yesterday's unchanged clothes.<br />
So, I decided that whilst it's fresh in my mind, I'd go through <strong><u>the thought process of every student the night before a big hand in</u></strong>.<br />
Here goes...<br />
<br />
8.00pm-<em> So I've got a long night ahead of me, with a slimmer chance of getting a 1st than the chance that Kim Kardashian will sort her life out. Better get some snacks, you know, for motivation.... yeah, motivation, that's it.</em><br />
8.30pm- <em>I'm a Celebrity is on, I've got plenty of time left, and I can DEFINITELY do work in the advert breaks.</em><br />
10.00pm<em>- Okay, so admittedly I didn't actually <u>do</u> any work during I'm a Celeb, but I had my sketchbook open on my lap, so I guess that's a step in the right direction</em><br />
10.30pm<em>- Right, need to find the perfect sound track to help me power through, lets take a quick look through my iPod</em><br />
<em> </em>11.00pm<em>-</em> <em>Well, it looks like I don't have anything in my music library that will do. Time to look on YouTube for some music.</em><br />
11.30pm<em>- Oh look, a funny cat video!</em><br />
12.00am<em>- Oh God, I only have 8 hours left. Time to really knuckle down</em><br />
12.05am<em>- Phew, I've written <u>5 whole sentences</u>, that definitely deserves a 10 minute break.</em><br />
12.15am- <em>Well before I can do anything, I need the right equipment. And who can do any sort of work without a nice sharp pencil?</em><br />
1.00am-<em> Alright, so that's all the pencils in a 5-mile radius sharpened to an OCD-level point, and organised in nice straight rows.</em><br />
1.30am-<em> Man, I could use a snack right now.... </em><br />
<em>*remembers supply of processed crap enough to put an entire army into a coma* </em><br />
<em>Okay, so I'll just have one teensy tiny snack</em><br />
2.00am-<em> How the hell am I supposed to work with this huge food baby?! I think a quick power nap is necessary, just to get rid of it and re-energise me for work. Half an hour should do it, no more though!</em><br />
4.00am-<em> Why did I think getting into a warm bed was a good idea!?!? Now I have to sit in my room which has is colder than Piers Morgan's heart, and no amount of onesies will stop me shivering.</em><br />
4.30am- <em>2,000 words, here we come. Okay <u>Wikipedia, don't fail me now!</u></em><br />
5.00am- <em>Damn I'm going to need some references... I'm sure that book on Lucian Freud is around here somewhere, and he's always relevant. Essay on why pop culture is becoming an overpowering influence in society? Why,<strong> because women secretly want penises of course!</strong></em><br />
6.00am- <em>I wonder if McDonalds start serving breakfast yet?</em><br />
6.15am- <em>Come on now, <u>focus!</u> How can I make the 1,200 words I have seem like a lot more? Time for some double-spacing and large font methinks.</em><br />
6.30am- <em>OH CRAP I COMPLETELY FORGOT MY EVALUATION JKBFJKBUIOP</em><br />
6.45am- <em>Okay, so here's last term's evaluation.... I'm sure if I just change a few choice words here and there it'll be fine. No one even reads these things anyway, right?</em><br />
7.00am- <em>Time to attempt to make this jittering wreck of a person presentable... enough to walk to uni, grunt hellos and dump my suspiciously large-fonted work into a box. </em><br />
<em></em><br />
<br />
I don't know about you, but that last bit never works for me. I always look like a car crash, and its always a 50/50 chance as to whether or not I'm still wearing a pajama top.<br />
I even have a pair on 'mum' jeans that I wear to each hand in without fail, they're just so.... understanding.<br />
So for those of you who still have your hand-ins to go, I wish you the best of luck. <br />
As for me, I'll be hibernating and playing on the Sims 2 for a month.<br />
Don't forget to subscribe to my content using <a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/">http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/</a> using the options on the right hand side :)<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-27839753379529546602013-11-26T04:51:00.001-08:002013-11-26T04:51:14.491-08:00How to get over a Break-up in 5 stepsHello, toasters!<br />
Break-ups are hard, we all know that. <br />
The feeling of losing 'the one', who will undoubtedly become 'the one.... who I text on drunk nights out at 3am'<br />
Trust me, it gets better. <br />
But, one thing that everyone seems to overlook is the fact that you can use a post-relationship funk to pretty much eat/ do/ wear whatever the hell you want and <u>no-one will judge you!</u><br />
So, I challenge you to do these 5 things and to not feel at least a little bit better about being single afterwards....<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li><u>Don't bother to shave your legs</u>. I mean, seriously, just wear jeans or tights the whole time. Shaving is annoying and quite frankly- dangerous (who's idea was it to rub a razor along your flesh in a slippery enclosed area?!) so <em>just leave it!</em> Enjoy growing an extra layer of warmth for the winter. <strong>Tip: This works especially well in student houses, where there's no heating.</strong></li>
<li><u>Have whatever food you want whenever you want.</u> Oh, you love garlic bread but were too afraid to have garlic breath? Well, its not like anyone is going to be getting <em>that</em> close to your mouth right now- and if someone randomly is, consider a restraining order- so run to Tesco, buy 2 sticks of garlic bread for something gloriously cheap like 60p, stick <em>Chocolat</em> on the telly and pretend you're French.</li>
<li><u>You can check David Tennant/Johnny Depp/ Tom Hiddleston out as much as you want and not have to hide it.</u> Gone are the days when you have to come up with something reassuring like "It's okay, I prefer you to him any day. I mean, he's far too..... (desperately searches for a minor flaw in the Hollywood God you are currently admiring) I mean, look at those hands, they're so wrinkly!" and then you just hope your partner buys it. Nope, I recommend fully throwing yourself into a fandom on Tumblr and getting <em>so</em> involved in the 'feels' happening there, that your own life has no real relevance anymore.</li>
<li><u>Buy that quirky necklace you've always wanted that they called 'a bit garish'</u>. Buy it and wear it proud, and if you see them out and about, flaunt your gorgeous new accessory as a big old two-fingers to the douchebag. <strong>Note: They probably won't notice but you'll feel epic and defiant, like the people on the Money Supermarket adverts. </strong></li>
<li><u>If you can't stop thinking about them, unearth a really awful photo of them.</u> You know, one of the ones where you'd hoped for a cute couple picture but for some reason they look like a Diglett Pokémon. Or a squid. Or they look like a paedophile. You know the ones I mean. Find that photo which you previously tried to skip over as much as possible, and set it as your background. Hell, print it on a cushion, so it's the first horrifying thing you see when you wake up. I know it sounds shallow, but constantly exposing yourself to a photo of them you really can't bring yourself to like can help you get fed up of them. You may want to get rid of any and all cushions/ merchandise with the awful picture on before another suitor arrives. You know, just looks a bit shrine-y.<strong> Because nothing say's '<u>I'm a keeper!'</u> like a shrine to your ex.</strong></li>
</ol>
<br />
Hope these work for you!<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-70442921958347460312013-11-17T06:58:00.000-08:002013-11-17T06:58:10.769-08:0010 Signs That You're a Music Snob1. You shun anyone who even mentions Justin Bieber, but have secretly listened to all of his songs. You know, just to check how bad they are.... twice.<br />
<br />
2. Even if you are late getting somewhere, you will stop mid-journey to find the perfect song on your iPod before even thinking about continuing, even if this makes you even later.<br />
<br />
3. You'll defend anyone who you have ever liked, even if you haven't listened to them for years and have no idea about their new albums.<br />
<br />
4. You have to watch Never Mind the Buzzcocks alone, for fear that a
question will come up on that obscure band you pretend to like, you will not be
able to answer it, and everyone will know the truth.<br />
<br />
5. You instantly correct anyone who mentions 30 Seconds to Mars, curtly
informing them that it is Jared Leto as in 'Leh-toe' not 'Lee-toe'. Bonus points for adding extra venom and a self-important attitude.<br />
<br />
6. You wear your headphones slightly off one ear, to give out that cool
'yeah-i'm-a-DJ' vibe.<br />
(Note- you look like a twat.)<br />
<br />
7. You have a vinyl collection. Which, don't get me wrong, is pretty cool.
But, you have a vinyl collection that you mention all the time, yet only
use once or twice a year. Poser? Definitely.<br />
<br />
8. As soon as a band 'makes it', you can't listen to them anymore. I mean, that's a given right? Because as soon as regular people that don't have your superior music taste start recognising their talents, they cant possibly be talented anymore... right?<br />
<br />
9. You lecture anyone who downloads music, accusing them of 'killing the industry', yet you have no qualms with downloading a film.<br />
<br />
10. If someone else does like a band you also like, you quickly try to one-up them by proving that you're the better fan.<br />
(This can be very funny to watch, especially between two hipsters, as the conversation usually goes something like this:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Hipster 1</strong>: 'I really like this band, called Marshmallow on a Plane, but you probably haven't heard of them'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Hipster 2</strong>: 'No, I totally like them, I liked them before they were well-known.'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Hipster 1</strong>: 'Oh, well I totally have a special edition of their new album, only 5,000 were made'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Hipster 2</strong>: 'I saw them live and caught the drumsticks'<br />
<strong>Hipster 1</strong>: 'I met them in London and we totally hung out for like 40 seconds'<br />
*Hipster 2 realises he has been beaten, dons his ironic Raybans and walks off into the sunset, or tries to as much as his ill-fitting chinos will allow*</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
Have fun observing number 10- I recommend waiting around at a coffee shop or a gig for that conversation<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-33102815376106735052013-11-14T05:57:00.000-08:002013-11-14T05:57:07.849-08:00Money-Saving Challenge of the week: Not to spend ANYTHINGHello, toasters! <br />
So in one of my last posts I set myself the challenge of spending <strong>absolutely nothing for a whole week.</strong><br />
I survived, so I thought I'd share with you my findings from the past week...<br />
<br />
<strong><u>Monday</u></strong><br />
This was when I decided to challenge myself to not spend anything. My bank had just texted me to let me know how poor I was, so I decided to try and be a super-scrimper on a 1-week trial basis.<br />
I feel that maybe a reason that I was broke was because I'd become slightly addicted to Dominos pizzas, and at £10 a pop, its not the best thing to be having more than once a week.<br />
I took my own lunch into uni (the healthy combination of golden niuggets cereal, a can of coke and an apple) which helped to keep the cost down, but I couldn't help but look longingly at the great-smelling hot food sold in the canteen.<br />
<strong><u>Amount Spent:</u> </strong>Nothing<br />
<strong><u>Mood:</u></strong> Determined to get out of my overdraft<br />
<strong><u>Top tip of the day:</u></strong> When in doubt, take a box of kiddies cereal for lunch<br />
<br />
<strong><u>Tuesday</u></strong><br />
Today was a bit easier, as I had 'independent study'... i.e. the teacher couldn't think of anything to do.<br />
So as I didn't have to go into uni, I didn't have to worry about being tempted by the hot food on offer.<br />
I had tortellini for lunch, and chicken & oven chips for dinner- just using up things from my freezer drawer.<br />
If anyone else is a tortellini fan, I'd say <em>avoid the Asda herb tortellini like the plague.</em><br />
It has such a gritty texture, I felt like I'd swallowed a beach.<br />
Actually, whilst were on the subject of tortellini, is anyone else currently angry with Sainsburys? <br />
<em>The bastards discontinued the four cheese tortellini I practically lived off last year</em>.<br />
Sorry, that was a bit off-topic, but its an important matter to me!<br />
<strong><u>Amount Spent: </u></strong>Nothing<br />
<strong><u>Mood: </u></strong>Chuffed that I had a four hour lie- in!<br />
<strong><u>Top tip of the day: </u></strong>Avoid Asda where possible in the pasta department<br />
<br />
<strong><u>Wednesday</u></strong><br />
Today was a truly great day for me... I saw Bill Bailey!<br />
And as cool as he was (I was in the fifth row!) the arrival of my mum meant one glorious thing- FREE FOOD!<br />
Usually, we just go to the Harvester, but I found out about this classy Chinese restaurant in town that I wanted to try.<br />
It was incredible, and the best thing was is that it was all-you-can-eat, so we could try everything. Twice.<br />
Having been given strict instructions from my housemates, I had sneakily bought 3 Tupperware containers with me in my bag, and so me & my mum made it our mission to not go home empty handed.<br />
Honestly, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard as when mum came back to the table, proudly carrying a huge plate heaped with about 200 gummy milk bottles.<br />
We managed to squish everything into the boxes, and we headed home with one box of sweets, and two rammed with lemon chicken.<br />
<strong><u>Amount Spent: </u></strong>Nothing<br />
<strong><u>Mood: </u></strong>It's Bill Bailey, from Have I Got-Never Mind The-Black Books-QI-for you!<br />
<strong><u>Top tip of the day: </u></strong>Take plastic containers and be ninja-thieves when you visit an all-you-can-eat buffet<br />
<br />
<strong><u>Thursday</u></strong><br />
Okay, so it turns out reheated lemon chicken isn't great, so I've basically just been left with enough sweets to put anyone into a coma.<br />
I didn't have uni today (I have so many days off! I mean, I love my course, but it feels silly paying £8600 a year when I only have 3 days in!!) so again, I wasn't tempted by the hot food on offer there.<br />
Basic pasta for lunch, and a bit of everything from my freezer drawer for
dinner- it was one of those nights where I though 'Hey, this mini pizza will go
great with roast parsnips and a naan bread!<strong>'</strong><br />
I don't know how I got into that very dark place, but <u>I am older &
wiser now.</u><br />
<strong><u>Amount Spent: </u></strong>Nothing<br />
<strong><u>Mood: </u></strong>WHYYYY<br />
<strong><u>Top tip of the day: </u></strong>If you're mixing food types like
this, you should probably take a day off. Or a week off, depending on how bad
your sugar coma is from all those sweets.<br />
<br />
<strong><u>Friday</u></strong><br />
Today I had a full day at uni!<br />
I know, right?! <u>A full day!!! </u>It's like what I'm paying for is <em>actually
reasonable!</em><br />
But having spent an entire day in the computer room, when it came to lunch
time, I just couldn't bring myself to dig into the cereal I had bought with me.<br />
I'm afraid I did a terrible thing- <strong>I bought a jacket potato</strong><br />
*gasps*<br />
I couldn't help it! It was more tempting than a photo opportunity is to a
politician!<br />
But, <em>it was the best jacket potato of my life.</em><br />
Any and all inner turmoil I had going on about losing my challenge
disappeared the moment I took the first bite. It was so soft, and exactly what
I needed.<br />
<strong><u>Amount Spent- </u></strong>£3.00<br />
<strong><u>Mood:</u></strong> Bite me.<br />
<strong><u>Top tip of the day:</u></strong> Maybe treating yourself
once in a while is a good thing. But if you really cant spend anything, getting
up 10 minutes earlier to make something more tempting than dry cereal is a good
idea.<br />
<br />
<strong><u>Saturday</u></strong><br />
So I was definitely feeling guilty about my jacket potato, and found myself
obsessing over whether I'm just a really weak person or not.<br />
I came to the conclusion that in most things, I'm pretty strong.<br />
But when it comes to food, sleep, exercise, or anything to do with owls, I'm
weaker than the watered-down alcohol you get at weddings.<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3Ce3AjuscmE/UoTV58KKwfI/AAAAAAAAAUk/tzcUGs_724c/s1600/%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3Ce3AjuscmE/UoTV58KKwfI/AAAAAAAAAUk/tzcUGs_724c/s320/%5D.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">So to
cheer myself up, for lunch I decided to make myself onion bruschetta! (Think
really posh cheese on toast)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">It was
amazing, and the recipe is as follows:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 48pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Chop 2 onions, place in a
frying pan and put on the hob on a low heat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Add 2 tablespoons of oil, 1 of
balsamic vinegar, and at least 4 spoons of sugar.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">If you have some red wine laying
around, add that too.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Simmer for about 40-60 minutes
on the low heat until the onion marmalade becomes sticky & soft and
the liquid is soaked up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Cut crusty bread into inch-thick
slices, drizzle on a little oil and sprinkle on some chopped garlic (1 clove
does 4 slices)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Spread the onion marmalade onto
the bread evenly, and top with slices of cheese (cheddar or goats cheese works
well)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Put the oven onto the grill
setting (or just a really high temperature) and pop the slices in. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Grill for about 6 minutes, until
the cheese starts to bubble.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Serve immediately and enjoy the
best lunch EVER :D<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Amount
Spent:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> Nothing</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Mood: </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Aww yiss!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Top tip
of the day:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> Definitely
brush your teeth after eating these- they taste amazing but gives you garlic
breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Sunday</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
I spent most of Sunday with Dan, which was really nice. We watched a load of
Firefly (best TV series EVER) and just had a pretty chilled day.<br />
When it came to dinner, we really didn't fancy anything he had in his
cupboard (no surprise there, he's a typical guy when it comes to food) so we
went to Wetherspoons and he paid which was really sweet! <br />
Usually I insist on going Dutch for meals out etc. but as this was my week
of scrooge-ness, he treated me.<br />
<strong><u>Amount Spent: </u></strong>Nothing<br />
<strong><u>Mood: </u></strong>Very happy<br />
<strong><u>Top tip of the day: </u></strong>If possible, have a nice
boyfriend who doesn't mind treating you once in a while.<br />
<br />
<strong><u>Result:</u></strong><br />
So throughout the whole week, I only spent £3.00, which I think is
pretty good going!<br />
I wouldn't say that I've learnt anything in particular, but I know that my
bank balance is looking pleased. <br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">If this
were one of those school science experiments that you had to prepare and write
up, it would look like this:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Question: Can Sammie go a week
without spending anything?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Hypothesis: Probably not.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Observations: I did pretty well,
but its fair to say I relied on my friends and family quite a bit.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Conclusion: I <u>can</u> do it,
it just requires more will power than I currently possess...<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Have any
of you challenged yourselves to do something like this? If so, how did it go? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Let me
know :)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Sammie<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">xoxo<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-786025879223603122013-11-11T14:03:00.001-08:002013-11-11T14:03:36.127-08:00Compromises... from theatre lover to metalhead?!Hello, toasters!<br />
I have returned after a few weeks' hiatus- to those of you who read my last post about how I was planning on not spending any money for a whole week, do not worry! I did not starve!<br />
I actually got on pretty well, and will post up my findings tomorrow evening. <br />
For some reason, I had the blog post completely written up and edited, but I really just felt like some time off. <br />
I spent the time settling in again to university, cooking some awesome food (and then cancelling it out by eating cheap drunk food) and most recently, going to the theatre with my boyfriend. <br />
The play in question was called 'Female Transport', and was put on by the graduate acting students at my university.<br />
I was excited to go because 1. the set and costume designs were done by members of my course, and is exactly what I want to do, and 2. it gave me an opportunity to show give my boyfriend Dan a little insight into my world & what I'm into.<br />
Alas, I hear you cry! Why, oh why, after 10 months of dating, does he still know nothing about the world of theatre if he is dating a costume student?<br />
My short answer to this is that <u>he is a metalhead.</u><br />
My slightly longer answer is that he is a metalhead who studies forensic science and plays ultimate frisbee in his spare time, and <strong>if that's not the furthest group of interests away from theatre, I don't know what is.</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hYosiaoHtB0/UoFQp0p7AiI/AAAAAAAAAUU/U7-XEWpEzLo/s1600/278827_10200834672243440_727444413_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hYosiaoHtB0/UoFQp0p7AiI/AAAAAAAAAUU/U7-XEWpEzLo/s400/278827_10200834672243440_727444413_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & Dan on a night out in Woking. This photo is my desktop wallpaper and the guy on the right<br />
in perfect focus really annoys me because I have no idea who he is, and I literally see him every day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I honestly don't know how we found each other, and I really cant comprehend how it works, but somehow it does.<br />
<em>Like mango chutney and stilton cheese, it just works.</em><br />
But lately we've decided to try to get to know each other's interests a little more.<br />
You know, to delve a little deeper than him putting up with my distinctly Sandra Bullock/ Rene Zellweger/ Ryan Reynolds-flavoured film-taste and more than me listing to Guns N Roses occasionally.<br />
So, he came with me to see Female Transport, and we've booked a Trivium gig in London for February.<br />
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Trivium and metal music as a whole, its contains shouting which sometimes transcends into guttural roars, drums being beaten to within an inch of their life (think Rihanna) and lots of black leather and tattoos. One good thing about the genre though, is that the guitar parts are really quite good a lot of the time.<br />
However, I am seriously scared that I will be punched in a mosh pit, and die. Or just be brutally injured, and have to spend the rest of my days on a life support machine. I don't know why I thought agreeing to this was a good idea... it may have been the Dominos pizza Dan bought me as he suggested it...damn Dominos pizza and its' persuasive aroma!<br />
<u>Anyway, </u>back to Female Transport. <br />
The set itself was incredible, with different levels and small spaces for the actors to hide in, which really emphasised the cramped life the female prisoners must have had as they made the journey to Australia- definitely <em>very</em> inspiring and made me want to design something like this even more before I graduate!<br />
The whole thing was made infinitely better by sitting next to some of my lovely course chums (shout out to Brooke!) who definitely helped to take the mick out of Dan and his typical bloke-ish ways. Mwahaha!<br />
<br />
Sidenote- why on earth do some guys think that its okay to use shower gel in place of shampoo?! Okay, if you have a buzzcut, it doesn't really make a difference... but where did boys get this false information from?!?<br />
<br />
I was concerned that Dan wouldn't enjoy something like this play- it was hard-hitting and got really into each character's individual stories... a far cry from the local Pantomime most of us have as a light-hearted introduction to theatre as kids. <br />
But he seemed to really love it, and I could honestly not be more thrilled.<br />
So, my moral for this post is to just leap into something, like Dan did for me. You never know what you might find, and you should always try something once, right?!<br />
...Except things like cocaine, and getting into the mafia. Stuff like that should definitely be avoided.<br />
(I'm looking at you, people who say YOLO as an excuse for making bad life choices!)<br />
Now I just have to take my own advice, don some heavy eye make-up and charge headfirst into that Trivium gig just like Miley Cyrus slammed into that wall of negative press.<br />
Actually, bad example. <strong>I do not wish to be associated with foam fingers in that way.</strong><br />
See you tomorrow!<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxoAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-45188438116936175252013-10-21T16:39:00.000-07:002013-10-21T16:39:40.939-07:00My Money-Saving Challenge!Hello. toasters!<br />
It's safe to say that my wallet is more than a little empty, what with student finance messing me around (I STILL don't have anything!) and me having to shell out for a new railcard and train tickets.<br />
So, I have set my self the challenge of <strong><u>spending absolutely nothing for an entire week.</u></strong><br />
That's right... I will try my utmost to spend nothing at all, not on food, bus fares, or any cute vintage items that catch my eye on Ebay<br />
(Yes, even if they are <u>such</u> a bargain)<br />
I share my house with 5 other students and we split everything evenly, so of course bills and money for toilet roll etc. don't count for this challenge, so I definitely wont be the annoying 'can I owe it to you?' friend.<br />
But aside from that, I will basically see what its like to run on empty for a week.<br />
Hopefully I have enough pasta in the cupboard to last me...<br />
I'll let you know how it goes! <br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-37341531535029664632013-10-17T06:37:00.000-07:002013-10-17T06:37:11.653-07:00Adjusting to life as a studentHello, toasters!<br />
<br />
I'm about a month deep into my second year of uni.<br />
Especially since moving back into my family home for 4 months over summer, I have realised some of the things that make student life... well, <em>studenty.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
One thing you never have to think about when merrily living at home is doing the shopping. <br />
I never realised how expensive cheese was!<br />
And yes, you can get the £1 'cheese' from Iceland, but its so rubbery that if you drop it, it will bounce back up and punch you in the face.<br />
<br />
Never before have I been quite so precious about nectar points. <br />
So what if I only spent £1.27?<br />
<strong>I need those points!</strong><br />
It's seriously becoming a problem- like as if I'm addicted to drugs.<br />
The other day I spent £2.50 in Sainsbury's, walked halfway home before I realised I hadn't collected my points, and went back to get them!<br />
<em>What is my life turning into?!?!</em><br />
And then, when you get home, you have to try and fit everything into your one little freezer drawer.<br />
I can definitely say, that I have become a master of this. <br />
It's like an expert game of Tetris in my freezer drawer. <br />
Life Skill = Gained. Thanks, University. <br />
<em></em><br />
Whilst I love my house, you do have to get used to some really odd combinations of mis-matched furniture. <br />
In my living room for example, we have two sofas- one a forest green and one a brilliant red that makes your eyes hurt if you look at it in daylight.<br />
I know that's not really a huge sticking point, but it does make you appreciate the purposefully styled rooms at your family home when you go back. <br />
<br />
One thing I have learnt about myself is that I'm actually a pretty good cook!<br />
(See a recent post <a href="http://sammieontoast.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/back-to-school-and-my-new-favourite.html" target="_blank">here</a> that has one of my recipes)<br />
This came as a huge shock to everyone, as before my Dad used to joke that I could burn water.<br />
But no, I actually buy fresh ingredients, combine them in interesting ways and <strong>I have never, ever eaten a pot noodle</strong>.<br />
The worst thing that happened to me kitchen-wise was my very first attempt to cook when I first moved in as a fresher.<br />
I was cooking a pizza (very simple, I know) and so I just put it in the oven and waited.<br />
There were only two problems to this plan...<br />
1. Our oven has no temperature markings. You turn the dial, but the markings have long since rubbed off. So, to start with, it was like a fun game. I think I must have turned it around to what I believe is about 300 degrees that night.<br />
2. After I put the pizza into what must have been a furnace, I became distracted. I can't remember what I was distracted by, but as I am an art student, it was probably something like a butterfly or my own boobs.<br />
So when I eventually remembered I was cooking something (probably about 40 minutes later) it came out looking pretty burnt.<br />
And by pretty burnt, I mean 100x more burnt than the stereotypical English guy who falls asleep on holiday in Spain in the sun all day and has to go around looking like a tomato for 3 months after.<br />
So if having a pizza that was blacker than a politicians heart wasn't bad enough, I only went and dropped it on the floor!<br />
I think I may have cried at this point. Or again, became distracted by my own boobs.<br />
I just know that I definitely missed the 3-second-rule time limit. <br />
But still, I was just <em>so hungry, </em>I picked it up and ate the bits that were still recognisable as a pizza. <br />
This, dear toasters, is a fact I am <u>not</u> proud of, so please don't judge me!<br />
<br />
Doing the washing is also something that gets me.<br />
Because my laundry basket is only being filled by me, it takes a long time to get full. <br />
And even when it is full, you do the same thing you do with the bins and squash it all down so it will last a little longer.<br />
So I'd say that wash day only comes up every 2 weeks. <br />
But when it does come up, I do 5 washes (1 white, 2 colours, 2 black washes) in a row and EVERYTHING is hung out to dry in my room.<br />
So for about 2 or 3 days, I cant move in my own room, it becomes a rainforest of clothing.<br />
Sometimes, its kinda cool. <br />
I can make a slightly-damp blanket fort out of the set of sheets I've washed and hide away from the outside world and the concept of 'doing work'.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wq6gBjb9XLA/Ul_k7qznQ9I/AAAAAAAAAUA/sNJmseUL914/s1600/BWx_JJNIIAA8lC6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wq6gBjb9XLA/Ul_k7qznQ9I/AAAAAAAAAUA/sNJmseUL914/s320/BWx_JJNIIAA8lC6.jpg" width="240" /></a>I will leave you on this note- <u>Internet shopping is your best friend <strong>and</strong> your worst enemy rolled into one!</u><br />
Yes, you can get some amazing deals that make your life (and bank balance) so much better.<br />
But, be warned. <br />
The other day, I went through my Ebay purchase history and realised quite how much <em>stuff</em> I had bought.<br />
And by <em>stuff, </em>I mean things that I love, but if I'm being very honest with myself, it could be classed as 'crap I don't need'.<br />
For example, today my Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends DVD came in the post!<br />
Now don't get me wrong- I loved this show!<br />
But if I'm honest, the £3 I paid for this could have been spent on something a little more nessecary. Like stationary. Or a subway.<br />
<br />Oooooh, I want a subway now!<br />
<br />
So my question to you all is this: What have you found to be the hardest thing about adjusting to student life? Let me know in the comments! <br />
And don't forget to subscribe if you like my content, so you'll be notified when I post more :)<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05258398147859338414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1978349914757290531.post-83883582530622097892013-10-10T16:12:00.000-07:002013-10-10T16:12:24.650-07:00Why men have it easier than women every single day<br />
Hello, toasters!<br />
So yes, I am discussing a topic older than Bruce Forsyth himself, the age-old <strong>battle of the sexes.</strong><br />
Now, I may be a little biased in this argument, as I am, in fact, a girl.<br />
Yes, I have boobs that jiggle and I can occasionally push small human beings out of a certain orifice. Not that that's happened to me in particular, but I do enjoy watching and laughing at the rednecks on 16 & Pregnant, so I know roughly how it works.<br />
But I'm not going to write a classic 'we have to go through cramp and childbirth' post just to win by default.<br />
Nope, I'm going to be talking about all those little things that happen every single day, that make a guys life so much easier than a girls.<br />
<br />
<strong>First up- Guys don't have to shell out money for feminine hygiene products despite the hideous adverts that make you go into a cringe coma for three days solid.</strong><br />
We all know the ones I mean... I don't think I've ever seen one that makes me actually want to buy the product. And the worst thing is, I know that my purchase is going towards their profit, which will be spent on more horrific adverts. <br />
<em>No, please don't make a tampon fly through the sky, that doesn't actually prove anything.</em><br />
<em>And for crying out loud, don't give it a face and make it sing.</em><br />
<em>JUST STOP. NOW. ALL OF YOU.</em><br />
Now I'm not saying that they should change their tune completely and start making Sensodyne-esqe commercials. That would manage to be even worse.<br />
My suggestion is to just stop the adverts completely.<br />
We're going to buy the product anyway. We don't really have a choice.<br />
So why do these companies need to spend loads on advertising where they turn a pad into a flower?<br />
<br />
<strong>Secondly, men can fart in public and not have to automatically blame it on a squeaky chair.</strong><br />
Girls are just <em>expected</em> to be beautiful, mystical creatures all the time.<br />
But come on, even a unicorn has to let one out at some point, right?<br />
Now I don't know about you, but I didn't sign up for this debutante stuff. I don't particularly care which hand I hold my knife and fork in, or if my posture is bolt upright at all times.<br />
<em>Do you know how painful it is to hold in a fart?!</em><br />
It kills! <br />
But I'd definitely say I've mastered the art. I've been with Dan 8 months now and I've only ever let one out about 3 or 4 times. I'm pretty proud of that.<br />
(Apparently you fart loads in your sleep, but I can't say about that)<br />
When I was younger, I used to think that farting was brilliant. We'd used to have competitions and everything. <br />
Where did that go? I miss sitting in a bath with your friend and making it a Jacuzzi.<br />
<br />
<strong>Number three- men's clothing is far better suited to rolling-out-of-bed-and-heading-out days. Which I have often.</strong><br />
On the whole, I think women's clothing is far more interesting than mens. <br />
Everything is less blocky, and more fluid.<br />
But for dressing down, you cannot argue that guys have it easier.<br />
Bra's are fiddly, tights have a tendency to shred to pieces as soon as you touch them, and don't even get me started on accessories.<br />
They can just throw on some trousers, a top, and a hoodie, and it nearly always matches.<br />
(There are exceptions, of course)<br />
They also don't have to bother with hair and make up like we do... they're allowed to have a 'natural, rugged look'.<br />
<em>If I had a natural, rugged look, people would start offering me their change as I walked down the street.</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Last, but not least- when it comes to romantic language, men are far easier to interpret.</strong><br />
I mean, come on, guys can do the extremely-old yet extremely-effective 'Gentleman' routine.<br />
Namely- be polite, compliment us, and don't be a tool.<br />
It really is that simple!<br />
And this courtship technique has been around for years, meaning guys have had decades to get familiar with it.<br />
With girls, we <em>can't</em> use the same flirting techniques our ancestors had.<br />
<em>Oh, excuse me whilst I drop my handkerchief daintily and cheekily flash my ankles.</em><br />
We have to find new, innovative ways of communicating our interest, and most of them don't even work.<br />
I mean, there's a reason why the stereotypical girl is hard to understand.<br />
<em>Maybe I need to stock up on handkerchiefs after all...</em><br />
<br />
So those are some things that I believe make a guy's day a little easier than mine.<br />
Of course, there is a flip side to this....<br />
<ul>
<li>We're not expected to be good drivers- in fact, it's the opposite</li>
<li>We can chat to small children and be 'caring', where most guys in the same situation would look somewhat in need of psychoanalysing</li>
<li>We don't have to pay on the first date (it goes downhill from there though...)</li>
<li>We can follow fashion without having our motives questioned</li>
<li>On girls... <u>bunny slippers are always appropriate</u></li>
</ul>
<br />
I know there's probably a huuuuuge amount of feminist writings on this subject, but I thought I'd offer up my own humble opinion. <br />
See you soon,<br />
Sammie<br />
xoxo<br />
<strong></strong><br />
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