Tuesday, November 26, 2013

How to get over a Break-up in 5 steps

Hello, toasters!
Break-ups are hard, we all know that.
The feeling of losing 'the one', who will undoubtedly become 'the one.... who I text on drunk nights out at 3am'
Trust me, it gets better.
But, one thing that everyone seems to overlook is the fact that you can use a post-relationship funk to pretty much eat/ do/ wear whatever the hell you want and no-one will judge you!
So, I challenge you to do these 5 things and to not feel at least a little bit better about being single afterwards....

  1. Don't bother to shave your legs. I mean, seriously, just wear jeans or tights the whole time. Shaving is annoying and quite frankly- dangerous (who's idea was it to rub a razor along your flesh in a slippery enclosed area?!) so just leave it! Enjoy growing an extra layer of warmth for the winter. Tip: This works especially well in student houses, where there's no heating.
  2. Have whatever food you want whenever you want. Oh, you love garlic bread but were too afraid to have garlic breath? Well, its not like anyone is going to be getting that close to your mouth right now- and if someone randomly is, consider a restraining order- so run to Tesco, buy 2 sticks of garlic bread for something gloriously cheap like 60p, stick Chocolat on the telly and pretend you're French.
  3. You can check David Tennant/Johnny Depp/ Tom Hiddleston out as much as you want and not have to hide it. Gone are the days when you have to come up with something reassuring like "It's okay, I prefer you to him any day. I mean, he's far too..... (desperately searches for a minor flaw in the Hollywood God you are currently admiring) I mean, look at those hands, they're so wrinkly!" and then you just hope your partner buys it. Nope, I recommend fully throwing yourself into a fandom on Tumblr and getting so involved in the 'feels' happening there, that your own life has no real relevance anymore.
  4. Buy that quirky necklace you've always wanted that they called 'a bit garish'. Buy it and wear it proud, and if you see them out and about, flaunt your gorgeous new accessory as a big old two-fingers to the douchebag. Note: They probably won't notice but you'll feel epic and defiant, like the people on the Money Supermarket adverts.
  5. If you can't stop thinking about them, unearth a really awful photo of them. You know, one of the ones where you'd hoped for a cute couple picture but for some reason they look like a Diglett Pok√©mon. Or a squid. Or they look like a paedophile. You know the ones I mean. Find that photo which you previously tried to skip over as much as possible, and set it as your background. Hell, print it on a cushion, so it's the first horrifying thing you see when you wake up. I know it sounds shallow, but constantly exposing yourself to a photo of them you really can't bring yourself to like can help you get fed up of them. You may want to get rid of any and all cushions/ merchandise with the awful picture on before another suitor arrives. You know, just looks a bit shrine-y. Because nothing say's 'I'm a keeper!' like a shrine to your ex.

Hope these work for you!

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